Monday, December 28, 2020

December 2020

     December 2020

            Surprised to see me again, eh, folks? Well, I’m on holiday and figured, what the heck? Let’s do an update and a year in review. So, let’s answer some of the lingering questions from January that people might not know about.

            Yes, I am still in Japan. I was hired to work at a school in Obihiro, Hokkaido. Not too many details there, but I’ll give a few. I was received warmly and my staff are very wonderful and cool. The children can be a bit young and feisty, but they warm my heart with their nature. Some can be stubborn, some can be sweet, but they are all special and learn in their own way. I’m proud of many of them for overcoming their fears or shortcomings and improving during my lessons. I felt great sadness leaving behind my children in Natori and hope I can go back and visit them when covid clears up. I did get involved in some online lessons with my school too and it’s been very fun. I’ve enjoyed all my time here, but it has been quite exhausting. Perhaps more on that later.

            To start, after I received the job offer was JUST when covid was starting to get serious in Japan. I was fortunate. Though it was stressful, I managed to get my new visa and cross the prefectural borders before everything got shut down. I cannot overstate that, despite 2020 being a dumpster fire of a year, I have been extremely fortunate…and for the most part happy. I got to reconnect with an old friend from China and despite losing my best friend, I did manage to forgive and reconnect with her, though the jury is still out on how close we still are. I am rambling a bit…let me just go down the line.

            It was very exhausting moving. I carried five bags with me…somehow, and I was blessed to receive many sweet gifts from my students, including books, drinking cups, and decorations which I still use in my house. When I arrived in Obihiro, I was greeted warmly, as I said, and my boss and staff were incredibly supportive. My apartment was a bit more expensive than in Natori, but the cleanliness, newness, the space, and the feel of it…it is a wondrous place with a small second floor, vaulted ceilings and enough storage space even for me. My staff helped me to get new machines and appliances for my house and I was even gifted a bicycle. It’s pink! Haha. I also bought a bed. It is a wonderful bed and the fact that everything fits so well together here fills me with joy. Even when I feel down or when I was worried about politics, I could look around my home and say…it’s not so bad, eh? You’re doing pretty good.

            We had a nationwide lockdown during my training, but our school has been super keen on safety and we haven’t had any cases in our care. Everyone is super serious about the safety of the children, so even after the lockdown was lifted, we’ve been doing well. I ended up falling off the horse with my exercise, but I’m starting up again. During that time, I got involved in a few series, like watching the Witcher and Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid, and even recently the Mandalorian. It’s all been very nice. I even enjoy games again, THOUGH, my Playstation 4 is finally broken and I ain’t replacing it until the PS5 goes down in price. Still, my switch and PC have been good for me for gaming.

            Now, for some stories. When I first arrived, I walked all over town looking for an affordable table of all things because I didn’t want to inconvenience my staff and I wanted to be independent. I managed to get a cab after two hours of searching and headed to the book off and even asked the cab driver to wait for me, which he did, and help me get my table home. I was pleased with how I managed my Japanese and with the kindness of my driver.

            I started dating again in the midst of October and though it ended poorly, it was a good experience for me growing as a person. I was able to see that I could be madly in love, but still recognize toxicity in a partner and break ties, even if it is inconvenient and hurts, for my own health. I will try dating again after 2020 ends, just because I need rest after an exhausting Christmas.

            Most of the year was spent indoors, as we don’t want to be out and about during these pandemic times. But I enjoyed a few of my excursions and special events with the school. We had a fun Summer school event where I got to bust out my Mario impression and dress up as Porco Rosso again, during Halloween we were Hogwarts characters, and Christmas saw me, and others, being Santa Claus. For one of the online videos, I even got to see a proper Hokkaido farm and it was beautiful. Gloriously so.

            I decided before covid flared up again, during a brief down period, to head to Noboribetsu, famed for its sulfur hot springs. It was a fun trip, with lots of demon iconography, a wonderful bear park, a nostalgic old world Japanese ninja theme park, I had delicious red bean soup, and other wonderful food. But the precautions Japan has taken to prevent the spread of covid kinda shows why it is one of the best places to be. The contrast between Japan and western countries is stark indeed when it comes to safety.

            One of my friends put me in contact with new adult students and while I don’t charge them and only talk infrequently, it has led to some fun adventures, like heading to an izakaya before covid got bad and talking with my student while ordering some traditional Japanese food. It’s been a wild time.

            For the holidays here, in Christmas time, I intend to just stay in and do my exercises, maybe check out nearby malls in my downtime, but that’s about it. I want to set up some new routines to help with the new year, mainly around writing and exercise, but also rest. I love my job, but it kicks my butt every week, making me super tired. Still, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

            Alright. Games roundup. I’ve had an on off relationship with Gwent and the card game Legends of Runeterra. Gwent is perpetually beautiful, but the balance is always frustrating and the gameplay is a bit bleh. Runeterra is exquisitely designed, but can be tilting or unhealthy. I’m trying a lighter touch with them this year because I love card games, but they can turn on you hard.

            Speaking of cards, I tried the commercial version of Faeria and it’s a wonderful card game that has lots of hours and lots of bang for your buck, but the devs have basically abandoned it and there will be no more content so that’s a major  bummer.

            I finally got to play Bloodstained Ritual of the Night and it’s…fine. It’s an okay metroidvania. I prefer the 8-bit versions, as the 3d graphics look a bit blah, even if the gameplay is fine.

            Spiritfarer is one of the most moving, beautiful, and engrossing game of the year, not my game of the year only because it can be a bit grindy, but also very heavy. It deals with death through metaphors and while it is fun and quirky, I wish it had been clearer, because the metaphors are sometimes more horrifying than the reality.

            Return of the Obra Dinn is one of, if not the best, game I’ve played in the last…5 years at least. It is a glorious detective story that will always surprise people. I love it to pieces and recommend it anyone.

            Hades is probably my game of the year, as it is the best rogue-like/rogue-lite I’ve ever played. Great writing and a fun new twist on Greek mythology, engrossing gameplay, and you CAN finish it. It’s a great game.

            Now, if Hades didn’t exist, I’d say my game of the year would be Merchant in the Sky. A fun trading game set entirely in an archipelago in the clouds, with no combat, only exploration, trading, and fun. I have played through it three times already and will probably again later. It makes me feel a sense of peace and adventure that has been lost to me, only reclaimed through games like Actraiser or the like.

            I can’t forget Sakuna of Rice and Ruin either, which is the most realistic rice growing simulator ever. Hehe, despite some meh presentation at times, it’s an enthralling game, mixing fighting demons with rice farming and save for one very mean spirited moment near the end, it is a great ride.

            I am excited for the Final Fantasy Legend collection and will play it very soon.

            Now, books. I did do a lot of reading this year. I ALSO did some audio reviews of the stories. If there’s interest, I might look to putting it online, but for now, they’re just for me. I read through all my Conan stories, I got a Solomon Kane collection and read all of those, and I FINALLY read through the entire bibliography of H.P. Lovecraft, which is incredibly up and down, some being really bleh, some being classics worthy of recommendation and reading even today.

            I’m excited for 2021. My birthday will actually be a hopeful new start for America, but also for me, as I hope to start dating again, and put all the stresses of politics behind me. You know what I’m talking about. 2020 was a bad year for most, but I was exceptionally lucky. 2021’s tarot reading is…interesting. Not bad, but I will need to watch out for a few things going forward. I am confident things will be fine though.

            Anyway, signing out for another year.

Monday, January 6, 2020

January 6, 2020


January 6, 2020
            First entry of the year. Quite possibly, also, the last. I don’t really get much joy out of doing this anymore, but I feel like perhaps I should, just to chronicle where I am after so much depression in the previous entries, for those worried. Some sadness still lingers and the beginning of the year has been…difficult, but I have had lots of fun things besides that.
            I should start that 2019, in reflection, was utterly horrible. Easily, one of if not the worst year of my entire life. I lost everything I cared for apart from my family. I lost the woman I loved, my best friend, my peace of mind, my self-esteem, my health, my sources of joy, my patience, and so many more. It was the year of taking. But I survived. And, I promised myself that in 2020, I would let go of my bitterness. I would not be angry with the people who could not be there for me, for I know it isn’t fair. I also had to work an extra day when I was supposed to have a holiday because of uncontrollable circumstances. I find it ironic that in summer I’m more prone to getting sick than in the winter. Everyone around me drops from influenza, but I endure the storm, no problem.
            Despite my pains and troubles, I have always tried to keep a smiling face for the children I teach. I don’t want them to know I am bothered. I want them to have good memories and a future full of joy, especially at Christmas. For me, I could not find the rest, nor indulge in the traditions I wanted to this year, but I smiled, nonetheless, for my students. Because I like helping people. 2019 has been a year of disillusionment for me on many things, but I can never be disillusioned by those I teach. No matter what anyone says, I have the best students in the world. Kids with potential to be something incredible. And I will help them move forward, laugh, smile, and someday, travel beyond the borders of this town.
            The year started off well, with a reunion with an old friend. Our journey to the bathhouse was quite relaxing and we also got a chance to visit a Japanese ryokan. I was a bit worried about finances, but my friends kicked in and it helped cover all the major expenses. The bad news? Well, Tashirojima, the cat island, was very cute and all, but also brutally cold and windy, with very few bathrooms and very little cover. It was a test of endurance, with almost 5 hours of walking during the day. A day I woke up at 5am for and barely slept for the night before. Needless to say, I was cranky by the end of it, but the Ryokan and the bath housed within helped with that. The dinner we had was also something spectacular and something I feel everyone should experience at least once in a lifetime. At least 20 different varieties of food in one meal. Crazy. Unfortunately, the day before my friend arrived, I blew out my knee with my exercise routine and the walking didn’t help, so I had to cancel our trip to the mountain of Yamadera. My friends managed to go on their own, which I’m glad for, and they enjoyed the local sights. It is a bit depressing that when my friends and family visit, everything is either too busy or just flat out closed, as was the case here in winter. We did get a chance to go to lots of different restaurants and they loved the steak house near my house. Oddly, Japanese steak is often considered far better than American steak. I am prone to agree. I also got a third bag to help me pack. Still not sure about when I’m going to move, whether it be to America or to another part of Japan, I think Japan since I’ve gotten a few soft offers, I just need something concrete. I felt a bit bad for needing to rest when my friend was visiting, but it was necessary. Few people can keep up with her. She’s a lady in her 60s with the energy of a 20-year old. On caffeine. Who doesn’t need to sleep.
            My family sent me a set of books for Christmas…and I could not be happier. I’ve missed reading so much. Of course I read in games and on the internet, but to hold a book in hand or lie under my bed covers engrossed in a story is something truly wonderful. I’m struggling a bit with trying to find my sources of joy again and my peace of mind once lost. Games are…fun, but still a bit empty. I will continue working on it. I’ve been eating a bit more than I should. Comfort food and all that. And indulging in podcasts for DnD and other silliness that helps me to feel better about life. I am…recovering. I will know how to move forwards once things settle and I either have a hard contract for future work or I find that I need to return to the US. Whichever, I will know soon enough. We start rebuilding now.
            My resolutions for 2020:
            Let go of my past bitterness.
            Find joy in video games again
            Read at least 5 times a week, if not more
            Continue with my exercise routine
            Continue writing twice a week
            Reach out to people a bit more often
            Eat less/snack less
            Watch some series(the witcher on Netflix looks very fun.)
            Be there for my students however I can
            Start dating again

            Hehe, most of these are pretty normal, I would do them anyway, but I think that’s fine. Small goals help you work towards larger goals. My Tarot reading for the future is…optimistic. I much avoid temptations, like the card games I’ve been too consumed by or the food that I have used for comfort, but it shows me working hard and finding some kind of bond. Be that in romance or jobs.
            To the woman who stole my heart, I don’t know if you’re still alive out there. I still think of you often. If you are out there, however, I hope you find happiness.
            Well, here we go. Let us walk into the future.