To China and Back: A First Hand Guide to Reverse Culture Shock

To China and Back

A First Hand Guide to Reverse Culture Shock

If I'm being honest, I thought I was done writing about my time in China.  I have a diary for a whole year, a guide to living there, and a few choice words about the environment, but I find myself now writing again because lots of people will warn you about the culture shock you face when going to another country...people seldom warn you about what you have to face coming home.

First, I want to dispel a few rumors.  The first is that your stomach will be twisted in knots when you go back to your home town because you've been a year or two without the kind of food your town serves.  That's not really a thing.  I jumped right back into eating Mexican food, American burgers, American Chinese food, etc. without too many problems.  The most you can expect is some diarrhea, especially if you go from a country heavy on roughage, like good vegetables and grains, to a country more meat focused.  But it's not as big a problem as you might expect, you won't be sick for weeks from the cuisine.

Another rumor is that you will forget certain skills you've learned.  Most notably, driving.  While you will be a little rusty, chances are you can jump back into it with a little practice.  The longer the duration you are away, obviously, the more time it will take to re-acquaint yourself with your old skills, but I managed to start driving and cooking, two things I'd not done for almost a year, the day after I returned home.  So, not as hard as people might make you think.

The big thing I want people to take away though is the stress factor.  A lot of people might say, "Give them a week or two to catch up with their sleep and they'll be fine."  For some, this might be true, but for others...it can take far longer.  One thing I want people to know is that you SHOULD NOT oversleep after a change in time zones.  Try to stick with a 7-8 hour sleep routine, hopefully sleeping before midnight, and get back into it quickly.  You'll need to crash hard for the first week or so, but it should be pretty simple to get back into a routine.  I did not do this, however.  You see, from the moment I got home, I was harried and hurried to get all manner of things done and my sleep cycle suffered heavily.  Basically from the day after I landed in America, I was bombarded with the process of sending out resumes, applying for jobs, filling out an application for JET and moving furniture and boxes with my brother into his new house.

This screwed me big time.  After a change in time zones, especially if you've come off a stressful time in your life, you need to recover.  Remember what I said, don't stay in bed all day to recover, but do things that remind you why you came home to begin with.  Meeting with old friends, revisiting old locations that have meaning for you, walking, reading...being only mildly active physically or mentally, but a bit more so socially.  This will help recovery.  I know because it's damn near the only thing that's kept me going after I got hit by the stress train.

I do not recommend going into a huge, unpleasant change in life right after returning home from another country either, because this is where the reverse culture shock gets insidious.  You are going from a period of regularity in your previous country through a great tumultuous upheaval.  To safely adjust to a new status quo and life, you need to actually be able to establish a new status quo.  If you can have a job you are familiar with lined up, do it.  If you can have a permanent home lined up, do it.  If you can have a routine lined up, go with it.  For me, trying to make peace with these three factors has led me close to the verge of mental collapse more times than I can count.

Let's talk about a mental collapse as well.  The fact where it feels like your life is spinning out of control and you have nothing you can do.  Where you've scrambled into a job or a living space because you had to and it was available and you don't want to be in your current position, but you're stuck there.

These feelings of powerlessness are crippling.  People who suffer from anxiety or depression are much more likely to suffer from these if they don't slide into a routine.  If you can't set up a routine for work, exercise, and get a place of your own, it can easily overwhelm you.  I remember waking up in the middle of the night and just weeping into my hands, unable to sleep, because I had no power over my life and I had no way to fight back or take control.  Obviously, I'm trying my best with my job, which is INCREDIBLY poor for a routine schedule, as the schedule is variable and changes day by day, if not hour by hour.  Combined with environmental factors, it can really mess with you.

So, what can you do?  First, have a strong support system.  I often think that close friends are better than family here, because the first words out of my family's mouth aside from "Welcome back, we missed you!" were "So, have you thought about getting a job?"  Family, god bless them, want what's best for you, but often have no idea what you need right now.  They are going to be a mental strain on you as you try and follow through with your own plans while not disappointing them.  They will try to influence you, well intentioned but still...and it will be a huge drain.  Your friends, especially the ones you can trust, will just want to shoot the breeze with you and be glad you're here.  This is much healthier for the mental health of someone after a huge culture shift because it says that people love you and are not going to judge you or push you in a way you don't want to go.

Second, you need to have coping mechanisms.  No matter how good you are, stress is going to creep into your daily life, so books, video games, movies, internet shows...have a release valve.  You need something that will help you sleep or remind you that the world is worth fighting for.

Third, balance alone time and people time.  We all need time to gather our thoughts alone or to experience things in our private methods, but know that when you start having a break, you need to be with people.  I would have paid a lot to, at 4am when my first mental breakdown and weeping session of my return home, have had someone to talk to.  If you can, arrange this.  Have a best friend, or hell, even a friend in another time zone or country who understands what you're gonna be going through and who can talk you down.  I was lucky in that I have several friends who either are as depressed and anxious as I am or understand it enough to know what to say.  I was not lucky enough to have them awake when I had my breakdown.

Fourth, AVOID STRESSORS!  No one wants to get your life back in order more than you, trust me.  After having independence, freedom, and choice, and having to give that up to return to your friends and family without a solid way to move forward, no one wants to get things going more than you do...which is why you should avoid people who are going to put undue stress on you because it's only going to make your journey to that point of stability harder.  I have dealt with people since my return home who ignore, who are assholes, who cannot sympathize or understand, or worst of all, think they know better than you and try to force their ideas on you.  AVOID THESE AT ALL COSTS.  I know we need to go outside our bubbles to experience a full world, but go outside your bubble when you have a mattress under you, not a bed of spikes...because that's what it's like dealing with this stress.  Hanging over a bed of spikes, waiting for your fragile little bubble to pop.

One thing I want people to understand is that you need an outlet because the most dangerous part of both culture shock and reverse culture shock is it makes you unduly miss the place you just left without a solid reason.  You can make reasons for yourself and make excuses, but the truth is, your body chemistry is having a hard time adjusting and is pining for the memory of stability you used to have.  This is a trick and you need to avoid falling for it, because if you sign up for that second year of China or a permanent stay in the States after only being away from your previous country for a few weeks...you'll be doing it with impaired judgment.  On that same note, you will feel down.  You will feel low.  You will feel like you want to hurt yourself or even that you want to die if you get caught in the previously mentioned cycles of stress and helplessness, where stability and independence are long forgotten dreams.  You need to reach out for help to people who can give it to you.  Like I said, avoid those who simply cannot understand you because they will only compound your stress.  But the people who can and will support you, you need to reach out to and get either medical(professional) or personal help to solve this problem.

I don't take medicine for my issues, but some people may need it, especially after a change like this.

My final rule of thumb?  When your body says its time to crash, give it a little bit of rest, because it's trying to catch up with the stress you've taken into your life.  An example.  After a poor nights sleep and teaching 3-4 classes in the morning, my body desperately wanted a nap around 1pm because it was just burnt out.  I shouldn't indulge a 3 hour sleep, but a 30-minute to 1 hour nap might just help get through the rest of the day.  Especially if your work day isn't over yet. 

Stress builds up.  You may not always feel it and you may not always know, but it clings to you like your shadow and it will not let you go...so, like a fever, you have to sweat it out and regulate it, not let it put you out of commission.  Find your outlet valves and get people who can help you from ingesting too much stress into your body.  Stress and depression after a culture change are a lot like a mental disease and that is not meant to be a bad thing or something you need to be ashamed of.  No stigma.  It means you need help.  Others should be willing to give you help or you should distance yourself from them because they're not healthy for you at this moment in time.

If you can't push through the stress to find stability and regularity, it WILL build up inside you like a poison.  Times like this, you may become as if you're truly sick because you simply cannot function...and if it gets this bad, you NEED rest, because it's just like being sick...mental illness is no less serious than physical illness.  If you build up too much poison in your body and don't get it treated or give your body time to fight back, then...it will kill you.  Stress does that...

One last thing.  Don't be ashamed of needing a crutch, but do try to keep yourself from falling into bad habits.  If you need that ice cream or trashy novel or brain dead movie to get through the day?  Do it...your body's stress levels sometimes need that junk food, mental, physical, or emotional.  It's comforting and comfort is a way that you can help regulate and fight back against your stress...it's a way of taking care of yourself.  Don't make a habit of downing a big bag of chips and a soda for breakfast as a way to comfort yourself, because that's going to hurt you in the long run, after you start to regain stability...but if you need a treat one day to keep going...do not feel ashamed.

Never feel ashamed for needing help or asking for people to understand.  You are not stupid.  You are not weak.  You are special and valuable and necessary to the world.  And no matter how strong someone is, everyone needs help sometimes.  This will pass, but don't feel bad for needing help and always, ALWAYS remember...this is not your fault.  Stress, reverse culture shock or any other kind, is like a disease that infects you.  When you need to make these changes, it is not your fault.  Don't let anyone force that guilt on you.

I hope that someone who reads this can find some help from it, because when I wrote this, I was still suffering.  I was trying to find a different job from my current one that will offer me more stability than what I had and to stand on my own to regain my independence.  When you are in a state of helplessness, your stress is going to build up even faster, so you're going to need more and more help to resolve and deal with it.  I know...this was my hell...but it will not be forever.  This time will pass.

Forewarned is forearmed, everyone.  Be prepared for what happens when you have a cultural shift or a major change opens up in your life.  You can do this.  I believe in you.

Take care.

Before we part ways though, a little addendum to help you know when you need help: These are my first hand signs of an oncoming mental break.
Signs of a mental break:

Hey guys.  Figured I should add this little addendum to my guide because it can sometimes be hard to tell basic stress from a mental breakdown and, rest assured, when you have a break, you NEED to seek help.  So, I want to actually recount my experiences with my mental breakdowns, since I've had more than one.

First mental breakdown followed an extreme amount of stress and feelings of helplessness.  It manifested itself late at night with insomnia.  The first signs were an aversion to sleep based on a mental state of pointlessness.  The feeling that sleep was pointless because you have no future or no path to follow.  This is followed up by feelings of inadequacy and a desire to travel, a desire to escape from your current situation.  As I lay awake on my bed that night, I wanted to get in my car and go somewhere.  Away from all my current stress and my current situation.  It led to watering eyes and outright weeping in a manic way.

There was no way for me to reconcile this and go to sleep.  When this happens, you need comfort.  Food, I don't recommend due to the lateness of the night, so if your mental breakdown is happening at night, I recommend a little water, books, preferably something nostalgic that will put you in a good mood, and some form of media.  When you have these feelings, the  most common problems are loneliness and a lack of ability to reach out and make contact with other people.  Human contact can be difficult if you have this break at night.  If you have someone you can really trust, I do recommend contacting them, but if that's not possible, a movie or a talk show or some kind of video that has lots of talking is a decent substitute.  I recommend comedy, especially ones that have people either facing the camera or speaking directly to the audience, like in a commentary on a movie, because the idea that someone is talking to you is very powerful and helps greatly with the feelings of loneliness.  This is mostly a bluff on your body and your mind to help you get through the night, so the next day you can seek the help you need.  Let something play on your computer or tv and lay down, close your eyes, and if you can't sleep, rest.  Even if this doesn't make you go to sleep, it's at least giving your body a chance to recharge and since stress is mental damage, it needs the maintenance.

My second mental breakdown was MUCH more severe.  It followed some of the warning signs I told you about in my guide, such as feelings of worthlessness and helplessness, especially those precipitated by stressors or people who didn't know any better.  This led to initial anger, but the feelings of worthlessness piled on so much that the anger burns away to indecision and most cripplingly, despair.  It leaves someone with a desire to escape, like before, but it also numbs the body and cripples thinking processes, leaving you indecisive and lethargic.  You can still get through your day at work, in theory, but anything beyond rote memorization or muscle memory, like driving a car, can be dangerous because your body and brain will be impaired.  I tried to cope with this in a way similar to my previous breakdown, using video games as an outlet valve, however like I said with stress being like a poison, the buildup here was too great and too rapid.  I ended up, with every death in the game, hearing "It's your fault!" and breaking into fits of manic sobbing and laughing.  Alongside this, I beat my arms and legs in self flagellation, which is VERY BAD FOR YOU.  This is something to avoid because it can lead to self harm and even suicidal thoughts or actions, so please talk to someone before it gets this bad.  When you start feeling that slowdown, like your life has just shut down, you are going to need to talk and find an outlet, because stewing is bad for you.

For me, I didn't have an outlet and I was close to several very high level stressors.  In this case, I had the good sense to reach out to someone, several people actually, and one answered.  My mother.  This was the right call.  When you have a break like this, you are not just sick, but crippled and wasting away.  Trying to stand on your own is not just risky, but it hampers your recovery a great deal.  You NEED to lean on someone after a breakdown.  One thing I found helpful during this time was to keep moving, either driving or walking.  It's best to do this with a friend or supporter, because someone can catch you if you fall, but no one likes to sit because it gives you a chance to wallow in your despair, which is a slippery slope.

When you have this kind of severe breakdown, usually your life has taken a nasty turn and you want to correct it, ASAP.  First, someone else helping you should not correct your life for you.  They should help, listen, and offer understanding and support, but not solve the problem for you.  Because chances are the problem can't be solved that simply.  If they could, they wouldn't have led to a break.  Still, let them try to figure it out until they run out of ideas, but DO NOT let them wallow in despair.  Try to help them come to terms with their sorrow through understanding and support.  The words, "You're sick.  Let us help you," "It's not your fault," or "I'm here for you.  I'll help you however I can," especially if you mean it, are the BEST things you can say.  Even then, it may not be enough.

This happened to me during the day and my mother was right to think that comfort food would make the situation better.  Gellato and chocolate help A LOT.  Recovery is slow and it can take hours to start feeling a bit more in control and a bit more like you can face the problem in the future.  It's important to recognize that you can't fix it in one day, but you can start towards fixing it.  Following this, you will be weak, bodily and emotionally, for at least 12 hours, if not several days.  You need to take this time to rest.  Mentally taxing activities and emotional strain should be avoided.  Being with friends who don't force this on you is HIGHLY recommended.  But if you're not able to hang with friends, getting comfort food and resting in bed is acceptable.  Rest may be required for several days to recover.  During this time, seek help.  I mean, professional help.  If you've had a break this bad, you NEED someone who can help you deal with and regulate your life.  There is zero shame in this, it's like going to a doctor for the flu or for any other sickness.  Do it for yourself and those around you.

Most importantly, you're going to need space, especially from your stressors.  Take that space and be a hermit for a little bit if need be.

Some of you might look at these experiences and say this is more like a panic attack or what have you.  You're missing the point.  This is something detrimental to your health and you need to find a way to deal with it.  This advice is meant to give you an idea of what it can be like and working through it.  As well as helping those around you understand what you will need.  No matter the name, if this happens to you, you need support.  Make sure you get it.

Take care everyone.

Conclusions: An analysis of my stay in China

Living in China / Beijing Conclusions and summations

            So...final thoughts on China?  I'll be honest, I've not had a grand time here.  It's not been slavish or abysmal, but it has been more annoying than I'd like to admit.  China has its merits but it also has a number of shortcomings.  I'll address those here as well as my recommendations about the country.  Bear in mind, I've only lived in Beijing, so please accept this as a manifesto on Beijing as much as China, not with any experience with towns or cities outside that scope.  I'm only speaking from my own experience.

Personal: I will admit upfront that many of the problems I had during my year in China are not actually the fault of China or Beijing, but just poor circumstances.  However, I will give a frank and honest report of my year as a whole.  My first impressions of China were mixed, as I liked the food a lot and was excited for a chance to see another Asian culture, however they were blunted by the crowds, as the city of Beijing is a truly crowded place.  They were blunted further by the paperwork I had to deal with and the incredibly tight time frame I was forced to work within for finding a home, especially after being dumped by potential roommates out of convenience.  Once I found a home, I actually started to like the city.  It took some getting used to, being without the amenities of home, but...I adjusted.

The pollution was something I could never fully get used to, nor the inconveniences of living in China, as there were so many needlessly complicated things.  Every week, I'd be unable to order food via phone or the internet and I had no car, so I'd have to walk to and wait at a pizza place.  I'd have to keep track of my water and electricity constantly to top off electronic cards to pay for them.  Finding a home was also difficult as the best and only one I felt suited me, I.E. was clean and homey, was almost an hour away from work.

When I first started work I was given a lighter load to help ease me into it and overall I liked the job and the students, but my first few months were hectic and full of planning and trying to get into the swing of things.  I have to say though, this was nice.  It gave me a chance to try the new food around me, which was really good and it gave me a chance to explore some of the cultural sites, which filled me with wonder and nostalgia, giving me a real chance to enjoy Chinese history, culture, and to just think and be happy for a bit.

Ultimately, what became the bane of my existence though, were the long work hours and the long commutes.  I would often work between 9-10 hour days 5 days a week and with a 1 hour commute each way, it began to wear on me.  I started wanting to stay home more and more and to go out less and less, unless I needed to.

Eventually my trips out stopped entirely.  This about brings me to when my family visited, around the six month marker.  I'd hit my stride as a teacher, I enjoyed my job(the students really do make it worthwhile), and though I'd had ups and downs, I was doing well, saving money, doing my job, etc. but they reminded me how much I truly missed home, their company...and how depressing China could be.  For me, part of it was how industrialized it was...there was no harmony with nature like in my hometown and there were too many small annoyances.  Being with my family on vacation and getting to go sight seeing, having more American style food at their hotel, and enjoying their company...I really did miss home.

I was fully integrated into living in China by the nine month marker.  By that, I don't mean I was Chinese or as good as a Chinese speaker, but I'd gotten used to it.  I just wasn't happy.  I've lived abroad elsewhere, but the tiny annoyances coupled with the pollution, censorship, and those long...LONG hours I had to work had worn me down and by this time, I'd decided on returning home when my contract was up.  I think it was a good decision, if only to get a dose of family and my own culture, but also to recover from my first year truly cut off from everyone I loved.  I'd made plenty of friends in China, both among the staff at my school and among my students, and I still keep up with some of them, but overall it was the right choice.

I kept on doing work as best I could though.  Never let it be said I am not a man of honor and my word and I kept up with my contract till it was time to go.  The writing was on the wall with news about Christian hate and discrimination on the rise, most of my favorite restaurants and food vendors closing near my home, and the general drudgery that had become part of my life.  I have to say, I enjoyed being a teacher and my staff and especially my students, however China wasn't a good fit for me.  The tiny annoyances and the frustrations with transport and long hours made it hard for me to find happiness there, mostly due to the fact I had no time...none for going sight seeing and none for after work activities...I just wanted to come home and crash.

My last few months in China were spent scrambling...trying to deal with their archaic banking system to send money home and reserving flight tickets and the like.  Very stressful.  Thankfully, my friends in China helped me out a great deal and I managed to work through it.

I've had my fair share of ups and downs here.  China isn't really a bad place to live, but you need a tolerance for the frustrations and things like the pollution, even without the poor hours I was working.  Either way, I stayed as long as I could, but it's time for another adventure.

Before I'm off, let me provide you with some more in-depth looks at China's pros and cons.

Pros:  Yes, China does have pros.  Despite what some Americans might think about the country, it's not some big scary totalitarian government...well, I mean it is, but you wouldn't know to look at it. 

The people here are frank for the most part and if you make friends in China, they will help you and are quite nice and not so fake.  They may not last when you leave the country, but they are nice for the duration.  My students are a great example of the kindness of the Chinese people, but I've experienced it from strangers as well, the odd mix of cordiality and no bones about it attitude.  People here, even if their poor English gives a bad impression, are actually pretty brilliant and have lots of views and ideas to share, many fascinating.

Prices.  Everything but electronics is dirt cheap in China.  Food, utilities, even the rent is much cheaper than in the US.  Now, you get what you pay for, to be certain, but it is easy to live well and save a lot of money in China.  You can live for under 5 dollars a day on food if you shop smart and even less in many areas.  Especially if you cook your own.

Delicious food.  Easily the best part of any stay in China is the culinary experience.  While they do overuse the corriander a bit in my experience, the food here is unlike anything you've had anywhere else in the world.  I've tasted things I'd describe as utterly delicious, decidedly weird, and all things in-between.  There are lots of unique flavors here and many can be bought on the cheap.

Cultural sites.  I've got to say, I have a hard time getting a bead on China's culture as a whole, but they've got some pretty and interesting cultural and historical sites, especially in Beijing, with the great wall being a must see and a true challenge for hikers and sightseers alike.  It's a place that's amazing if you know where to look.

Transportation: The subways here are cheap and can take you all over.  No need for a car or a bike at all.  They've been expanding at a steady rate and there are at least a dozen subway lines throughout Beijing.

Chinese Medicine.  You can and will get sick in China, but they have lots of great treatments that are natural and organic as well as pharmaceutical and artificial.  The medicine here can be quite expensive at hospitals, but traditional remedies abound and are quite helpful for getting over the many maladies you will accumulate in China.

Security.  While you're not immune to being yelled at from time to time or a pick pocket if you're not careful, violent crimes are pretty rare in places like Beijing.  The police do their job and there's security at most stores, big or small, so there really isn't a lot of violent crimes, thefts, or what have you.  Most apartments have guards or at least gates, and it's generally a safe environment.  Crime is...pretty unusual in China.  Not impossible, but unusual.

Cons:

Oh god, the pollution...the city is heavily polluted, to the point where some days it will look like a thick fog outside, but the fog smells of smoke, ash, and trash.  The water and the smells which litter everywhere are unpleasant at the best of times and the love of everyone and their mother to smoke makes it frustrating to find even a gulp of fresh air.

Complexity.  This country is needlessly complex.  Everything from paying bills, to dealing with banks, to even being allowed to live here is accompanied by pounds and pounds of paperwork, to the point that it will frustrate and exhaust you all at once.  The process for sending money home and getting registered to live at the police station are my personal choice for frustrating without necessity.  It doesn't stop at the paperwork either.  I pay for water at the bank, electricity with a card, drinking water at a dispenser downstairs, and rent by dumping money into an ATM.  In the states, I could do all that with a few mouse clicks.  Too complicated

Outdated.  Yeah, China is complicated, but they are way behind the curve in terms of technology.  Partly due to their censorship, partly due to reasons I do not fully understand, China relies almost exclusively on the Internet Explorer Browser and many grocery stores live and die from pirated versions of Windows XP.  Online banking is a literal nightmare of not just complexity but outdated idiocy and frustration.  Everything in China is behind the curve tech wise for the average citizen.

Sanitation.  I guess this could go hand and hand with pollution, but Beijing has terrible sanitation.  The bathrooms are often terrifying, when they're not just gross due to the constant smoking and awful smell wafting out of them.  Food bought off the street or even in restaurants can make you sick and are a pain to deal with and the water from the tap is not safe to drink.  Water in my sink came out brown more than once from the tap.

Censorship.  While not crippling, like a lot of things in China, the great firewall is annoying and tedious.  China blocks access to a large number of sites on the internet which are commonly used, such as google, facebook, and youtube.  This can be easily overcome with a VPN and a little patience, provided your VPN is a good one like Astrill, but it's needlessly complicated and unnecessary, as it just makes your life harder.

Speed.  Everything is slower here.  This goes hand in hand with complexity, but the internet is slower, getting food is generally slower, getting banking done is slower, the complexity, censorship and everything together mean that you will not be able to rush things in China.

Customer service.  It does not exist in China.  Or rather, it is the exception to the norm.  Generally at restaurants, you see the waiter twice, maybe three times.  Once to give you the menu, once to take orders, and once to give you food and your bill.  They do not care about your happiness and in most areas, with the exception of international places like banks, there is no customer service, especially restaurants.  If you are specifically paying someone for that service, it'll be there, but otherwise, expect little.

Transportation.  Yeah, you read right, this is a pro and a con.  The subways are cheap and useful, but they are often crowded so tight that it is hard to breathe, let alone move.  Frequently they too are outdated, with poor A/C or heating, dirty floors, and unclear readouts.  They are a chore to deal with.  Convenient, but also terribly frustrating.  The bare minimum of useful.  Also, the crowds make it very easy to spread disease.

Disease.  Yeah, I said China's medicine was good, but I was sick more in terms of days during my stay in China than in 26 years stateside.  My illnesses could be worse in the states, but I was always fighting of throat infections, strep throat, colds and flues, migraines, and the like...also food poisoning because of the sanitation problems.

Final Thoughts: Some of my words might seem scary, but here's the question most people want to know about...is China worth going to?

For a visit?  Certainly!  The cultural sites here are beautiful and while you still have to deal with the frustrations, it's a good experience.  The food is amazing and since you don't have work, you can explore and see parts of the culture, like I did with my family.  Chinese opera, stage shows, the wall...it's all worth a visit.  Best way to visit China is for only a few days/weeks, in my opinion.

For living or work?  Ehhhhhh...do your research and decide for yourself.  The frustrations in China are nowhere near impossible to overcome, but they can wear on you.  The government, frankly, is not scary, provided you don't go around waving a US flag and screaming about the political systems.  The government is not some looming presence over you.  It's just there, like the US government.  Living in China is actually pretty safe, all things considered, but generally, it does take some adjustment.  If you cannot adjust to the pollution, the complexity, or the archaic nature of their banking systems, you will have a hard time there, but ultimately, you CAN make China work.  If you don't live in Beijing, I'm not able to give you much insight onto what it would be like, but this is life in a big city in China.

For me...it was a good experience.  I learned a lot about myself.  But I'm in no hurry to go back.  I would, for my students, because they were great, but I'm looking forward to another adventure somewhere else, first.

It's been quite a journey, China.  I wish you good fortune in the future.

Second trip to Japan, September 2015-October 2015 - Second Week

Second trip to Japan, September 2015-October 2015

Second week

This entry will be a little short due to me running out of time overseas, but on the whole, it's been a great trip.  I still have a few more posts to make later, but for now, this is the end of my odyssey

September 21

Took a bit of a rest today.  Woke up late and spent 2-3 hours at the nearby Spaworld hotel and onsen resort.  It was...okay.  Clearly not very well catered to English speakers, I had some trouble figuring out a few things, but I managed.  Went into the onsens for Asia because they only allow one gender into each area per month.  This month it's men and Asia and women and Europe.  Surprisingly, it had the same, maybe even less, facilities than the tiny onsen in the countryside had.  The rooms were much more grandiose and decorated to look like different countries, like Persia, Arabia, or traditional Japan, but...ehhhh.  I enjoyed my soak and felt a bit refreshed from it, but overall I suppose that while I love water and being clean, the long time just sitting and doing nothing but soaking isn't for me.  Public nudity here again, but no one really cares.  I'm kinda surprised because some people walk around with everything hanging out, while others try to use small towels to retain some modesty.  Not sure about which is appropriate or more common.

After the onsen I had lunch of ramen and crepes and it was very good and spent the rest of the day after that just relaxing, writing, planning, and playing a few games.  I've needed a day like this for a while just to recharge my batteries for the next set of adventures.  It's nice to just take a day in for vacation sometimes, you know?  Anyway, Spa world is a bit overrated, I think.  As a hotel it's probably pretty cool and if you have a group you're going with I imagine it's fun, but I found it kinda meh as a single person experience.  They did have a very strong presentation though and even a bit of an Attack on Titan theme on some floors, complete with a colossal titan.  Cool, but...that anime has stopped being my thing so I don't care too much.

Anyway, tomorrow I'll try and head to Shiga.  We'll see how that goes.

September 22

Ehhhhhhhhh, navigating to Shiga AND finding something to do by myself was a bit much.  I decided to head to Nara instead.  Wasn't as fun as when I went with my friends, but Nara is still Nara.  Beautiful scenery, great temples, smart ass deer, the works.  The deer in Nara think they're soooooo clever...they're mischievous little scamps.  I saw the big Buddha again and saw some other temples besides.  Overall, not a bad trip.  Here though, but in other places in Japan as well, I found a startling lack of trash bins.  For a country so focused on cleanliness and environmentalism, it's shocking how difficult it is to find a bin to throw rubbish in.  Around stations it's not so bad, but you just don't have periodic trash cans like in the States and it...kinda baffles my mind.  Frustrating.

Also frustrating is getting off at the right stop according to google maps, but being on the other side of the city, and lost.  Christ...I spent an hour trying to find my way back to my hotel after returning home from Nara and was less than pleased.  I'd probably still be lost if not for Tsutenkaku.  The tower I visited last week gave me a landmark to orient myself too and after I made my way to the tower, I was able to get my bearings.  I'm not sure if I'm getting better at dealing with being lost or if I was just lucky...it's hard to tell most days.  Anyway, I was tired, my legs and thighs were exhausted from walking, and I really don't want to deal with the Osaka loop line again...maybe I won't head to Shiga.  As cliche or perhaps entitled as it might sound, I'm a bit vacationed and touristed out.  I've only really had one day in where I didn't do much, and even then I went to the spa.  I'm tired and a bit worn down from all the walking and vacationing and without a friend or anyone to help keep me going, to spurn me on because I want to show them stuff or they want to show me stuff, I feel more and more like I just want to rest.

I plan to head back to Kyoto tomorrow, to visit Kyomizudera and possibly Fushimi-Inari again.  Then, I'll have a day at USJ with a friend who is like a sister to me(I seem to have a lot of those...)  After that...I could go to Shiga, try the trains again, but...I dunno, maybe I'll just stay in.  We'll see.

While I'm here, I want to take a minute and talk about convenience stores here in Japan.  I'm...frankly amazed by them.  Now, the stock isn't anything magical or what have you and shelf space is limited, but Japan has some of the best pre-made foods from any place I've ever been, States included.  For the price, you cannot beat the value or the taste.  Now, when I say pre-made, I don't mean like cup of noodles.  They have fried chicken and rice, okonomiyaki, sandwiches, sushi...lots of great stuff that can be bought for under five bucks that makes a great meal.  And it doesn't feel cheap or greasy(they have those kinds of things if you want, but it's not the norm) it feels like the ingredients are fresh and in Hiroshima, I actually walked in on someone placing out freshly made okonomiyaki...they make this food fresh daily.  That's why the taste is so good.  For the price, it can't be beat, especially if you are too tired, or living in a hotel, to cook.  I wish this was more true in the States.  We have some pre-made food in grocery stores, but generally pre-made has a reputation to be too greasy or unsuitable for a decent meal.  Save for a few rare examples.  Grocery stores and convenience stores in Japan...no, the food in general in Japan is pretty amazing.  The food situation here is probably one of the bigger factors involved in me wanting to live here because expensive or cheap, you can always get a decent meal that tastes good and is to your taste.

And now, signing off for the day.

September 23

So, today I visited Kyomizudera again.  It was a nice enough place, but my thighs have been hurting me and I began to feel more and more exhausted easier.  I only spent about 4 hours out today, but that was enough.  Kyomizu is beautiful and I bought a few charms for myself and friends, much like I did during my first time there.  Not much to say besides that.  I had fun sight seeing, but was glad to come back to my hotel and get a shower.  Think I'm about vacationed out.  I've got one more big trip left tomorrow to USJ, but after that, just wanna rest and return home.

September 24

God, I feel terrible...why, oh lord, is it that after having a fantastic day, I end my night feeling depressed and with worry?

Let's start with the good first.  I got a chance to hang out with a friend who is like a little sister to me and we spent the entire day at USJ.  It was...pretty flippin awesome, to be honest.  We saw the monster rock and roll show, which was cheesy and fun, but surprisingly well choreographed as well.  We saw the Jaws attraction and even visited Sesame Street before heading over to the Wizarding world of Harry Potter, where we got to tour Hogwarts, meet Olivander, and dine at Hogsmeade's three broomsticks inn before trying some sweets and the like.  Spent a lot of time standing in line for a space fantasy roller coaster, but it was all worthwhile.

Overall, this was the most fun I'd had in...ages.  My friend was charming and adorable and really brought out the best in me, especially since it was raining the entirety of the day.  Didn't dampen my mood.  I was having fun with my buddy.  If there was going to be one complaint, it would be the lines.  Good god, USJ has the longest lines I've ever seen anywhere.  In Harry Potter land, one line said it required a 170 minute wait.  That is THREE HOURS.  You cannot be serious...you simply cannot.  At the end of the evening, we got dinner at a fancy pizzeria and enjoyed each other's company until we parted ways at my stop, after exchanging a gift.

Now, why do I feel so terrible?  Lack of sleep, the CRAPPY internet at the hotel, which I had to complain about to get even the piss poor service I now have, and...my eye.  I've so far convinced myself that it's stress which makes it feel tired today and the redness isn't from the eye being irritated but from more visible blood vessels.  I've had this happen before in China and it was nothing, but I have a history of Eye disease, so...disconcerting, to say the least.  I'll be keeping an eye on it.  My good eye on my bad eye.  Anyway, I've only got a day left in Japan and then I head home.  Hold on, body.  You can rest once we hit stateside and have decent internet.  Or something, I dunno.

Tomorrow, hoping to see my friend again and go back to the spa, just to treat myself, before I have to pack everything up again and get ready for the plane.

September 25

Not much to say about today, really.  I've got to leave Japan tomorrow, so I took it easy.  Went to Umeda and said my goodbyes to the friend I went to USJ with.  She...I will miss her a lot.  Like a sister to me, that one.  I got some food and headed to the Spaworld onsen again.  I enjoyed my time in the bath, though a part of me is screaming about wasting money.  Well, I'm on vacation...I can afford to waste a little.  Tried a bit of slots and pachinko for fun and...could not get into it at all.  Not sure if it's the Japanese or the weirdness, but...just wasn't fun.  Did do some Taiko no Tatsujin after my bath though.  Now, resting and re-packing things.  This is my last diary entry, so this marks an end to my year long odyssey in Asia.  I'll probably be back to Japan and I may visit China, but for now, I'm ready to rest at home, with my friends and my family.  So tired.

Second trip to Japan, September 2015-October 2015 - First Week

Second trip to Japan, September 2015-October 2015

First week

 Due to time constraints and to the length of my journal entries, I broke my Japan diary into two weeks, so there's a long one here with some deep thoughts and my traveling, with a shorter one to follow next week.  Enjoy.

September 12

Ugh...homecoming to Japan is bittersweet at best.  I've had a crap day.  The early rise with barely any sleep in China, the CROWDED subways at the ass crack of dawn, going to the wrong terminal and struggling with the paperwork, the TSA took my beard trimming shears, so I need to replace those, and then...the waiting...and the bags...and the pulling...My friend was waiting to pick me up and we decided to take the subways to my hotel to save money, which meant more pulling but it was nice to catch up with her.  It'd been too long since last we were face to face in person.  Speaking with my friend is probably the best part of my day, all things considered, because holy balls it turned into a frustrating day.  My hotel is not bad, but it IS a youth hostel...meaning rooms the size of broom closets and an internet that is so crappy it rivals the old dial up modems I had twenty years ago.  Not even joking here, the internet in CHINA was better than what I have in this hotel.  I will not be online for the next 14 days, more than likely.  Charming.  I did get to have some Osaka food with my friend and the hotel's toilets and showers are pretty decent and there's even laundry so I can do my clothes...which I will need to cause I REEKED after I arrived, but...ugh, I know I'll be traveling most of this trip so internet isn't THAT big a deal, but being cut off from the world makes me antsy and frustrates me.  When I arrive home in the US, I'll probably have an internet binge with the videos I missed.  Here's hoping tomorrow is more encouraging.

September 13

Well...not sure if encouraging is the word to use here.  Not bad, mind you, today had some good points, but...ehhhh?  Let me run down some of the goods and some of the bads.  Good: I got to spend the day with my Japanese friend who was lovely and took me to some great restaurants, including udon, omurice, and I got a cola ice cream float, and we went to a mexican festival full of delicious cinnamon sugar and CHEESE.  Bad: We ALSO spent the whole day looking for a phone, because god forbid a foreigner without a smart phone leave home...you cannot buy a pre paid phone in Japan unless you have a residency card or unless you want to use apps...but not actually call people.  The sheer level of "WHAT?!" on display here frustrated both of us because we were both familiar with using prepaid phones in university.  So, lesson learned...get a smart phone.  Also, we tried to book a bus so I could get to Hiroshima to meet a friend and potential business contact and...holy cow, that was ridiculously complicated.  Couldn't book it online, couldn't book it by phone, couldn't book the cities I wanted...eventually I suggested we say to hell with it and go to the bus station where we COULD book the bus tickets I needed.  So, I guess that's also a good.  I got the tickets I needed.

On a side note, my friend loves Spanish and Mexican culture, so that's why we were at a festival.  We stayed longer than I wanted, but she was having fun and got to see some of her friends, so I'm glad for that.  I hope I didn't make her feel bad because when it started to rain, I took cover away from the stage, where there was dancing, while she stayed with friends and kept watching.  Ugh...this kind of lets me know about why my dad gets antsy sometimes with long events.  If it's not your thing, but you're there for someone else, then...what can you do but wait?  I mean, I couldn't leave...that would be a terrible and rude thing to do. 

Anyway, it gave me some time to think on a lot of things as the rain cleared up, my old seat was taken by someone else, and the dancing continued for a good hour or two.  It's really easy to sink into self pity in that situation where you're there for someone else who's having fun with other people...thankfully, I managed to side step that because I'm used to self pity...I am tired of pity parties, so I try to avoid them.  But it was difficult.  We want to feel justified, like WE'RE not the selfish ones, but we are.  Everyone is selfish on some level, even us...we just love playing the victim.  Anyway, I managed to avoid that, but that's what it gave me time to think about.  Not sure if I'm getting better at this social interaction thing, but I like to see this as growth from when I was younger.  Still, hope my taking cover and stepping back didn't both her.  My friend really is a gem.

September 14

Today...today...oh, dear...well, first, trying to navigate the trip to Hiroshima is pretty frustrating.  Got my bus tickets booked, but I also need to take a train when I get there to meet my contact and since I have no phone...yeah, tiresome.  I'll have him recognize me by my coat.  It should be pretty easy, considering the flights I HAVE taken and WILL take, but still...

Today I went to my old town that I lived in during University.  So much remains the same and yet so much has changed.  No Mr. Donut when I got off the train, no tiramisu mochi, no anime themed super store...it makes me wistful.  And a bit annoyed because I'll have trouble getting gifts for two friends of mine who want some SNK stuff...I used to know where all the anime stores were, but everything's changed and...sigh.  Some things remain the same.  My old house is where it used to be, same with my university.  It's a bit bigger in places, but still the tranquil oasis I used to love.  Feels strange now though, with all my friends graduated and a fresh crop in their walls.  Kansai Gaidai is an interesting place at all times, but I feel...a bit nostalgic and wistful for the old days.  That can kind of sum up my whole visit, really.  I did have some good times though, don't make any mistakes...The walk to my home was nice and peaceful and I revisited some old places which were still there, including the legendary Takoyaki maker.  I say legendary because I tell everyone about him.  His shop is small and a bit dirty, but he is skilled, chatty, and his food is delicious.  Four years later, the tiny shop is still open and he still remembers me.  It was good to see him again and we chatted, as best we could, in Japanese.  I also revisited the sushi place I used to love.  Still awesome.  But, my crepe cafe is gone.  Sad face.  I also found the old department store I used to visit and got some pretty sweet deals on some games.  One of them I got for basically $1.  It's been a good day for minor shopping.  Once I give my gifts to my friends, I'll have a bit more space for games and whatnot, so I bought a little, but I was temped by SEVERAL different games there.  God I want a Wii U and even a PS4 is starting to look tantalizing with Dark Souls 3, Bloodborne, and Dragon Quest heroes.

Before I finish for the night, let me talk a bit about my feelings and my current hotel.  First, feelings.  The phrase, "Those days are gone and they ain't ever comin back" was stuck in my head all day.  It's weird, trying to recapture old memories.  Trying to remember and relive glory days, because they're gone...you need to move towards the future.  But we all want the past, don't we.  We all miss those better times even if they were only better because they're over and we're not living them now.  It's something a lot of people need to come to terms with, myself included.  For me, I guess this was like a hello and a goodbye.  Goodbye to the town I used to know and hello to a future, because things change...they do.  That doesn't have to be bad.  I just don't have enough time right now to adjust...only got 12 days left.

Now, my hotel is...problematic.  I talked already about the wifi, which is passable at best and downright pathetic at worst.  But, we should discuss some other things first.  To start with, it IS a hostel, so cheaper amenities are kind of expected for a cheaper price.  The showers are fine, but they are public, so anyone can use them.  Ditto the toilets.  They've got heated seats and are pretty rad...though I don't want to try the squat toilets on the second floor.  There's a strange smell in my room, but the A/C works, which is more than I can say for certain, fancier hotels.  The size is probably what gets me...the size and the pillow, actually.  I need a bit of room to pace, move, stretch when I'm living somewhere.  Now, I'm mostly here to sleep and do my journal entries, so it's not as big a deal, but if I ever lived in Japan I'd need a private bathroom but also space to get up and walk...to pace, think, and move.  And with the small space available, I can't do that.  Now, my pillow...is tiny and basically a sheet over a bag of erasers.  The pillow is meant to be filled with the kind of beans you might hear is good for your spine, but instead it has plastic tubes in a bag...it's weird and I don't like it, but I do need the support so...I'm stuck.

Ironically, sleeping in the hotel is easy and I've had some VERY good nights of sleep.  Now, this is owed mostly to the terrible nature of my bed in China and the great nature of Japanese beds.  My bed in China was not just firm, but HARD.  Rock hard.  And a bit off balance in the center so there was a lump in the middle which didn't let me rest flat on my back.  Here though, we have a tatami mat floor, which is nice and firm without being hard, and a futon.  God, I love futons.  I used to sleep on a futon couch after all.  These two in combination usually give me the best sleep I could hope for, so...at least there's that.

On the whole though, I do need more space.  I barely have enough room for my suitcases closed and it takes a juggling routine to open them and get at what I need.  It's...a problem.

September 15

My return trip to Fushimi-Inari.  My plan was to not get sweaty.  I failed.  Climbed a mountain for about 3-4 hours.  It was fun, actually.  Everything about Japan reminds me about why I actually enjoy life.  Now, it's not fair to compare everything to China, but...yeah, the AIR here is amazing.  China's air felt so stifling and the smell...but the air in Japan feels so fresh and rich and since Inari is a tourist place, but still a small town, the balance of nature and humanity is just perfect.  It was, again, bittersweet though.  I came here originally with a girl I loved and we spent a lot of time having fun climbing the mountain and visiting the fox statues.  However, that time has passed and it ain't ever comin back.  Still, I felt...at peace around the mountain's heights and around all the tori gates which were almost rooms unto themselves.  A part of me wanted dearly to reconnect with my old flame and...finally get the damn closure I needed three years ago.  We'll see if the feeling lingers.  I know love is dead, but still...I could take a step forward and move past it.  I mean, I have to an extent, but the bittersweet nature of this trip kinda also shows I have a ways to go.  Anyway, I had a good day.  Cept for my legs.  Near the end of my climb, my legs were really shot.  I can tell because one or both of them will start trembling if I put weight on them.  I can still walk, but standing still is a challenge.  It went away after a bit, but I REALLY pushed myself hard with the climb today.  Felt good, actually, until the trembling started.  I love Fushimi-Inari and if I had a year instead of only 10 days left, I'd go back again.  Absolutely beautiful place.

Since I talked about the air, there are two other comparisons I want to make today.  First is trains.  While Japan and China have a similar subway system in that it's one car per track, I really admire Japan's innovations with the trains.  China is MUCH simpler and easier to understand, I will say that up front, but the crowds and the congestion can make it a tiresome chore to get from point A to point B.  How did Japan solve this?  Different varieties of train.  Now, this was brilliant.  Each track has a spot for two trains traveling in the same direction.  When I headed to Fushimi, there were six different kinds of trains running.  Some would stop at every station.  Some only the most popular...and all things in-between.  This was a brilliant idea and really saved time, showed the speed of Japan's trains, and was just a great experience.  China still has Japan beat in terms of price, but Japan has a lot more flexibility.  They could learn from each other, in my opinion.  Japan brings the price down and China offers more options to train goers.

Last thing to talk about today is the same food in different countries.  So, today I got dinner at Mcdonalds.  It's different for all 3 countries.  China tends to have a heavier focus on Chicken and potentially pork.  The standard burger is there, but it's not as popular as the chicken or the fish or the pork burgers they offer.  America is ALL about the beef and the different varieties you can have.  They even have a secret menu for those in the know, hehe.  Japan is a bit different.  For one, their french fries are some of the best the world has ever known.  For another, they're willing to provide their own culture specific burgers.  For example, in September, they sell the moon burger, a standard cheese burger with a soft boiled egg on top and the special moon sauce.  This thing...is absolutely delicious.  But it's only around for one month before it gets swapped out.  I really wish they'd import it to America because it is a gold mine here in Japan, due to the limited window...kinda like the Mcrib, I guess...anyway, I wish we could have more international burgers back home.  And I found a Mister Donut today, which was invigorating.  In retrospect, not too different from other donut chains, but they feel lighter and less heavy or sickening in your stomach than Krispy Kreme or Dunkin...just my own observations.

Tomorrow, I round out my old stomping grounds by heading to Kyoto...and maybe next week I'll visit Nara, who knows...anyway, time is running down, so I gotta get going.  Hoping for fun tomorrow.

September 16

Another day of mixed feelings and disparity.  A rainy day in Kyoto sounds romantic, doesn't it?  Well, only when it's raining hard...sadly, I bought an umbrella to be safe and the rain petered out, but it worked out for the best.  I used the umbrella as a cane because GOOD LORD my legs crapped out on me halfway through the day.  I used to exercise hard, but trying to jump back into an active lifestyle after a year of no running has hurt me.  My legs became achey by the time I reached Kyoto's Yasaka Shrine today on my reunion tour and stayed that way until I got home...so I needed the umbrella to support myself.  Anyway, speaking of Kyoto, I got lost early today.  Spent about 1-2 hours not sure where to go.  I eventually found my way onto the right path, but getting lost was kind of a blessing because I passed through a lot of interesting places.  Temples, arcade parlors, theaters, and stores.  I happened through two Book On stores and searched for the crown jewel of my Vanillaware Collection back home.  Vanillaware is my FAVORITE game company and many of their games never made it stateside.  I found one such game in Hirakata, Grand Knights History...another title proved more elusive though.  I found it today.  Princess Crown, the spiritual prequel to my favorite game of all time, Odin Sphere.  I was giddy all day about that.

That being said, I felt a bit somber during my travels.  Nothing really bad beyond the aches and pains happened, I had a good lunch of Indian food, a tea parfait as dessert, and tried a different kind of Moon Burger for dinner, but...I just felt worn out and sad today.  Part of it is this journey feels a bit empty because last time I was in Hirakata, or Inari, or Kyoto, I had a friend...someone I loved...with me.  In a way, this is helping me to put those ghosts to bed, Fushimi-Inari in particular being a place of reflection, but these travels would be...more fun with friends.  I'm looking at you Sissy.  If you ever read this XD

Anyway, I visited the Yasaka Shrine, surrounding parks, and a burial site for an abbot of the Hononji temple.  Beautiful sights, but...I just felt a bit down.  When it's grey, but there's little to no rain, I feel pretty low.  I prefer it when the rain pours down because it feels cleansing.  Still, at least it wasn't too hot out today and I got to find a treasure I'd been searching for.  Didn't get to go to Kyomizudera like I wanted, I just ran out of time and energy...but I might go back later.  We'll see.

Now, I'm very tired though, so I want to rest.  Tomorrow is my trip to Hiroshima, so...hopefully that will go well.

September 17

Consider this a half day entry, because I usually record these in the evening, but tonight I will be on a bus to Hiroshima so...taking my opportunities as they come.

Sigh...I love Japan, but so far my time here has been full of ups and downs.  Today in particular.  I got lost.  Again.  Surprise.  I was heading to a spa to try and figure out if I had time to relax and unwind there.  The answer, it turns out, is no.  I could have, but was turned off by the staggering price of massages, though I might go back before I leave to simply try out the onsens, since I don't need a swimsuit for it.  Either way, I got lost, but found my way to lunch and Tsutenkaku(I think that's the correct pronunciation) a big tower in my neck of the woods.  Was a pretty cool place and I got to see some history, some manga, they LOVE ultimate muscle here, and get a great view.  I was in the Billiken area where a strange deity is held as lucky, so that was also prominent here as well.

That was fun...while I was up in the tower, I could see a zoo, so I figured, why not?  The price was right at only 500 yen, but it felt a bit rundown, as renovations were happening all over the place and it was still raining, so everything was wet.  The animals were interesting, but some of them seemed either sleepy or just sad and I felt a bit bad for them.  Once again, while walking, my legs started to give out.  Still not recovered from climbing Fushimi...and why would I be, I've not taken a day off to rest since then, I've kept on going.  Anyway, I forced myself to a nearby art museum, which was a mistake because of the stairs, and saw some Japanese painters who had created western style paintings, from the abstract and the surreal to the fresco and contemporary styles.  It was interesting...but not worth the price, since they only had those paintings and the price of admission was 1300 yen.  A bit of a rip off.

I'm recovering in my room now, packing things for my trip to Hiroshima and getting ready to leave.  I have to leave my bags here during my trip, so...fingers crossed everything is okay when I get back.  I am taking all my money with me though.  My father didn't raise a fool.

September 18

Okay, so this is a continuation from last night into the 18th.  First, let me talk a bit about the bus ride.  Hellacious is a word that springs to mind.  That bus was cramped and bumpy and the ride was frustrating as all hell.  There was no A/C, so I was stuck, hot and sweaty, on a six hour bus ride in mostly darkness.  Damndest thing happened several times though.  The bus would just stop at a rest stop and wait, sometimes for up to an hour, just so they'd be on schedule for their arrival.  Not early.  On schedule.  It was...annoying.  Eventually, after about 5 hours of no sleep, I said screw it, busted out my 3ds and started gaming.  Made the last leg of the trip more bearable, but still, a huge pain.

The train ride to Onomichi, where I was meeting my contact, was...better?  I couldn't sleep because it was an old fashioned train and I had to keep track of the stations myself.  I had to remember where to get off.  That was...tiresome.  But the countryside out here was absolutely beautiful.  Such a great scenery in these rural towns outside Hiroshima city.  We stopped at Onomichi, near the sea, and it felt truly peaceful, almost like home.

I met my contact and we headed off to his home to discuss his business and my future.  We talked at length about his project which is called the Peace Village in Hiroshima.  The idea here is to create a sustainable community that can survive without some of the necessities we've become used to in modern society.  Growing your own food, creating your own power, bathrooms, wi-fi, the works.  This doesn't mean being a ludite though, and forsaking technology.  He's got some good ideas about sustainability.  For example a micro hydro generator in a river that can generate power if there's enough force moving the water.  Or permaculture, the idea that you create a mini-ecosystem where food that you want, such as kinds of rice, fruits, or what have you, will grow without you needing to put forth the effort for farming.  It's all interesting stuff and works in conjunction with Jimmy Carter's village, which is a relationship between Atlanta and this small town where my host lives.  It's a fascinating idea, but the hard part is getting young people involved.  Truth be told, I might be turned off by a few ideas, such as the lack of working plumbing, we get water out of a well and crap into a hole at this house, but the natural beauty here is amazing and the idea of being able to live in a sustainable community isn't a bad one.  The main problem I'd have with committing to it is the simple fact that I still want to see more of the world and find a girlfriend and get married, and the like.  This kind of place seems like a great place to retire, but I think my host wants to get young people here to help it grow so that he and his friends working on this can have a community of people living in perfect peace and harmony.

His idea is also to have people coming and going from Japan to the US and the US to Japan, since he's hoping to set up a similar place in Atlanta.  I hope it works out for him and if you're reading this, check out the Hiroshima Peace Village on Facebook or online, it's a pretty cool idea.

Anyway, I crashed mega hard after lunch because I didn't sleep at all during the night bus, so I crashed, then we went to an Onsen.  It's a peaceful place and a great place for relaxing.  After days of my legs hurting, I feel much better after a good soak.  It is a bit weird getting used to the idea of public nudity if you haven't before.  I shared a locker room during weight training in high school, so I'm cool, but I get some people might be weirded out.  It's a great place, but I did start to get a bit light headed near the end.  Too much heat and the blood all rushing to my head.  Still, I can cross that off my bucket list.  Maybe I'll try spa world near my Osaka hotel again since I know how all this works now.  After that we cooked dinner, talked a bit, and enjoyed the company.

I admit being as cut off as I am right now is a bit off putting since there aren't any close buses or trains, but hey, we have AMAZING internet out here.  Anyone who calls BS on fiber optic cables and google fiber, the Japanese government did this for smaller towns years ago and it is FANTASTIC.  So fast and reliable.  So, not totally cut off.  I'm here for one more night and then I head back.  Hoping to get some good pictures and learn more about the peace village project.  I'm living right now in a Japanese style house, complete with the sliding doors and the tatami floors.  It's...very charming.  Dunno if I could live as a community with others, but if I wanted to live a little ways out of a town, this is probably the kind of house I'd wanna live in, with a few cosmetic changes to match my taste, of course.  Really is a great place and a piece of history.

September 19

Okay...today has been a bit of a challenge for me for various reasons.  Some logistical, some mental.  Anyway, I woke up and helped my host with cleaning out his home in preparation for the peace village.  It's an ongoing process, but we suddenly hit on the idea to send me to Hiroshima on a bus.  This would give me an opportunity to head to the YMCA, which might be able to give me another opportunity to teach English here and MAYBE go to Miyajima if I have time.  While the idea was sound, we ran into some problems.

Probably my biggest worry has been money.  I still have plenty, but it's been frustrating since the place I'm staying at in Hiroshima, the World Friendship Center, and the bus I took to get to Hiroshima together cost over $60, which is...frustrating.  The bus ride was okay, for a bit, because I got to see some truly STUNNING rural scenery, which I'll touch more on later.  But we hit a traffic jam of epic proportions and...the fun stopped.  Anyway, I arrived in Hiroshima city and promptly got lost.

Well...sort of.  I had a map and managed to find my way, thank god for my previous trip there it REALLY helped.  I navigated around the Hiroshima dome and the peace museum to find the right road and managed to find the Center.  Problem was in order to get there before everyone turned in for the night, I had to skip dinner, though I had a bit of tea and noodles on me, so...could be worse.  The room here is pretty nice and the internet is good, however I had to wait after my long walk for a room...it was frustrating.  The entire trip here has been largely about time tables and a bit of a logistical nightmare trying to get to places on schedule.  I'll look forward to heading back to Osaka because I can make my own schedule a bit more often.  Either way, tomorrow I try to make some contacts to help me get back to Japan.  Not sure if it will bear fruit, but...if you try, you have a chance of failure.  If you don't try, failure is 100%.

Anyway, let's talk about rural scenery.  My mental problems kinda stemmed from me thinking about where I'd like to live/retire/etc.  See, this is an idealized state of mind.  As someone I love dearly once put, we're in love with the IDEA of living a simple life or a community life or a rural life.  It's actually pretty inconvenient in a lot of ways.  Repairs, getting groceries, the insects, insulation, or utilities situations...we want to have that rural feeling but still have all the conveniences of a small to large city with all that we could need and friends close by.  I've been trying to reconcile that because the peace village is a beautiful place to be, but having to live there...I feel conflicted.  Same thing with anything else.  Example.  I love the sea.  I LOVE the ocean.  I love going out on boats or simply being by the dock.  But I don't live near the sea.  I don't have to deal with the hurricanes, or the water damage which could happen to houses, or insuring a boat or knowing when to stay or flee...and those are all real factors you need to take into account when living near the water.  It's an odd truth that we want to live comfortably, often around people we love, but we also haven idealized idea of our perfect home or environment and...they don't always really mix.  I give mad props to my host in Hiroshima because he is actually trying to live the dream of convenience and ideals together, but...it's taking time and even he admits that the transitions are the hardest parts.  I do want to find a home near the ocean someday...I don't want to be a fisherman or live on the water, but with friends in a small or medium town on the coast with protection against hurricanes?  Sounds like a fairy tale, doesn't it.  Still, who knows...maybe the world will provide.  I've been trying to reconcile the ideas here, the ideas of beauty vs practicality...and I imagine I will continue to do so as I gain experience and explore.

Before I worry about where to settle though, I'd like someone to settle with.  Close friend, sister, lover...someone.  Because while I love my private time, no one is an island...and I have no desire to live as...or on...an island(Please note Japan does not count because if we wanna count Japan, we may as well count every continent as a massive island, so...yeah...)

September 20

Well...today was...today was a day.  I woke up bright and bloody early, earlier than I have in a long time, to go to the YMCA and to Miyajima.  YMCA had a skeleton crew and despite wearing my good shirt, which I got soaked in sweat, I got nowhere.  Which...eh, not too surprising, it was a Sunday, after all.  Anyway, I took the street car down to the port and headed over to Miyajima.  I make it sound short, but I spent, there and back, over 3 hours on that street car carrying my laptop and my clothes.  Like I said, it's been a day.  Once I hit the ferry, it was great.  I love ferrys and I love going out to sea, if only for a bit.  We went to the island, which is BEAUTIFUL, but...too many people.  Miyajima has too many people and too many smart ass deer.  There was a waiting list at every restaurant there, so I settled for a street vendor selling maple leaf pastries made of Eel.  Yes, really.  It was damned good.  Unfortunately, the aforementioned deer tried to drink my soda, eat my eel(not a euphemism) and generally made me look foolish.  I'd had a long day, so I just bore with it till the soda was gone and the eel eaten.

The shrine at Miyajima was absolutely gorgeous and I love how it is partly submerged in the ocean.  The pagodas there were great too and I got some good souveniers for my friends and family.  Sadly, I was on a time schedule, so I only spent two hours on the island before I had to go back to Hiroshima station.  I want to say again how frustrating time schedules are and how I've been on them since day one with the Hiroshima trip, which makes it...just that little bit more stressful.  Anyway, I managed to, after a lot of searching, find the right terminal for my bus, get on, and...six hours later, I arrived in Osaka.  It was easier this time around, but still frustrating...I'd like to not take the night bus in the future, if possible.

I took a subway home and then, here I am, resting, washing clothes, and preparing for bed at my hotel.  In total, I spent about 11 hours riding public transportation today.  6 for the bus.  3 for the street car.  1 each for the ferry and subway home.  Give or take.  But...yeah, it's been a day.  That doesn't even count when I walked to the YMCA.

Gonna take it a bit easier tomorrow.  I know some restaurants near my hotel, so I'll head out there and probably find my way to the spa again.  I'm gonna have a spa and onsen and restaurant day.  It'll cost some, but...I need a shorter day to enjoy life.  I enjoyed my time at the onsen with my host, so this will be a good solo experience for me, I think, now that I know what to do.