September 28, 2017
Ugh…woke up today and
functionally felt like I’d been stabbed repeatedly in the kidneys…or run over
by a truck. Take your pick. So, that was fun. Had to stay in bed most of the morning and
managed to get up for work, but god almighty…I felt terrible. Work was…trying. Confidence is one of the most important
things to have as a teacher because if you believe it will work, you can make
others believe it will work. If you believe they can learn, they may believe it
too. And when I get a hit to confidence,
be it from the weather or undue criticism or just fatigue, it’s hard to keep
going. I know that I’ll keep going,
learn, improve, and some days will be better than others, but today…today was
definitely a hard day. I made it through
somehow, but…ugh.
Speaking of ugh, I
decided to throw caution to the winds and at 9:45, bought two small pizzas from
the local Japanese pizzeria. This is not
Ionia, oohhhhhhh no. This is greasy Japanese
style pizza hut pizza. The demi
hamburger pizza was…weird. Lots of
stuff, but not sure if it gelled well, as I tasted hamburger meat, broccoli,
mushrooms, onions, and sweet corn…just…too much. The sweet corn pizza
was…surprisingly good. Sweet corn on a
pizza…like creamed corn you don’t need a spoon to eat, actually. Life is…so weird, sometimes. I feel very tired and I hope I can survive
and get up and not be too tired to edit because I need to stop skipping editing
days. I managed Tuesday, but
Thursday…no…no, I just could not. This
will be a long weekend, so I’ll use some of that time to recover. God…I really am overworking myself at this
job. I see some people in-between
classes taking time to relax or at least…not…work…but me? I got too much to get done. Today, I copied
and enlarged stuffs for a reading activity and cut them out from their copied
paper, I made new eraser papers, I prepared all my classes and Eiken work as
well as getting Halloween activities ready, and god help me, tomorrow, I need
to do laminating. Someone please stop
me…I need a break, but I just don’t have time…
September 29, 2017
Less tired today. Got my
bed turned and my editing done, which was nice.
I also got yakiniku, which was good, I tried pumpkin with it which was
great, and I finished laminating a lot of stuff. I’m trying to keep up with everything, but
too often it feels like I’m never as fast as I need to be. I stayed a bit late at the school as well to
finish some planning that got interrupted by my need for laminating.
Gwent launched an event
that I had fun with. The Mahakam ale
festival is like a tavern brawl from Hearthstone. Not too long, but a good deal of fun. The actual playing of the game competitively,
however, got frustrating quickly, as I kept getting squashed by people who are
either lucky or just playing the most boring BS on the ladder. And that’s the problem. I need to remember that I play when I want to
for fun. I don’t NEED to compete. I have almost all the cards as is, after all.
So, I shouldn’t try to compete like that.
September 30, 2017
Went to bed late last
night, so I felt groggy and tired all morning.
Thankfully, this is my 3-day weekend for the switchover. I mainly just
stayed crashed and dined on minor things for lunch. I had to go into Sendai to
pick up my Shinkansen ticket, which I did, but I had to pay for it with my
credit card. Thankfully, I could check
my bank account and I had enough and a bit extra, but I DO need to send money
home again, just in case. I got a chance to try the Mexican restaurant. It was a bit funny, because I got there right
at opening time and the owner looked at me like, “Oh shit, is it that time
already?” and asked me to wait while he got ready. I did, and I ate. Shirley temple was good, the taco and
enchilada was good, and the chips were good.
I want corn chips so bad…so bad…I would do horrible things for corn
chips at this point…anyway, it was nice tasting guac and sour cream along with
my food, but for how expensive it was, and it was very expensive, it wasn’t
very filling. I miss American Mexican
food…yes, I realize the irony of what I just said.
I headed to the pokemon
center as well and picked up a few baubles because…why the hell not? I might send one to a friend as a gift…in
fact, I will probably send several things off as gifts. I also got something special for someone
special. No spoilers here. That’s all you get. Anyway, tired, so I want to play some Nioh
while listening to my DnD podcasts. See you.
October, 2017
October 1, 2017
Ugh…so Nioh was
frustrating. I HATE that end game souls
games tend to just throw enemies with stupid damage output and HP at people
because they expect them to have grinded to the point of stupidity. I hate that.
The DLC content is egregious in this regard. So, bleh.
I went grocery shopping today and am trying to get back on the miso soup
train, which I hope works well, and am trying a few other new things as
well. I miss the amenities of home,
though. I would do horrible things for
corn chips…
Anyway, nothing much
else. Skyped with the family, ate KFC…oh,
and also wrote a 15 page thought exercise for my second book in case I can get
the first one published. I had been
thinking on the metaphors at play and the overarching themes in the story I’m
writing. I got to thinking about a key moment for one of the main characters
and I just wanted to explore what it COULD be and so I spent about…3 hours
straight just getting it hammered down to paper. I like it, but not sure if it’s the copy I’ll
use when the time comes. Still, it’s
good to have it down in case I want to borrow from it later. It also proves that when it matters, I can
REALLY still write. I just need the
right situation. The three day weekend
gives me a good excuse. Now, tired, so
going to listen to more Unexpectables.
October 2, 2017
Last tsukimi burger of
the season today. It feels weird being
off on Monday. I’ll have to get used to
it. Anyway, I went to the bank today and
sent money home as well as getting more for my special trip to Hokkaido. I also wanted to head to Ionia for pizza, but
apparently it is closed Monday…hence why I got a tsukimi burger from
Mcdonalds. I also bought more soda…I
have so much soda now. Stocking up is
kind of a big deal. They had a weird
raspberry soda from pepsi that is supposed to be Halloween themed which I
liked. Also, I finally found corn
chips. This may not sound like an
achievement, but it’s very hard to find any chips not made of potato here and
now that I have them, it is nacho time.
God, I have missed this. I feel
pretty good so far, though my work week starts up tomorrow.
Alright, I also started
up Pyre today, which is a crazy good experience. A wondrous fantasy world mixed with a
fantasy-esque football game. I had a lot
of fun with it and will continue to do so.
It’s the financial freedom I have to buy these games on a whim that I am
loving most about this chapter in my life.
Anyway, relaxing in prep for tomorrow.
I hope to get letters written to family soon and then get some stuff
from Hokkaido, like post cards, to send home.
We will see.
Actually, memory sharing
time. Been re-watching Totalbiscuit and
his wife doing some goofy lets plays and remembered my time arriving in
China. While it was stressful and I struggled,
A LOT with just keeping it together, I watched these silly little moments of
them playing as a pretty princess or as a girl in a school for pigeons…yes,
really…and also videos from someone who was a friend, but…well, never mind
that. Sometimes, just relaxing with a
few choice memories is nice. It was a
difficult time, but these quiet moments of levity helped me get through a lot
of difficult times back in Beijing. It’s
nice to still have them.
October 3, 2017
It’s almost funny how
fragile humans are. Went to bed last
night feeling confident and refreshed. The end of the day made me feel tired
and wrecked. I still don’t feel like I’m
doing a terrible job, but the work drains.
The classes, especially on a Tuesday, drain. I did get to have my extra class with the
cool guy and we talked state fair food as well as basic listening. He said he likes my speaking voice for
listening exercises better than the ones in the audio CD, which is kind of
him. Anyway, I just wonder if I’ll be
renewed. My family seems confident, but
as for me…I dunno. I want to be, I like
it here, but the stress…some days, it just makes you feel inferior. Am I?
I don’t know, to be sure. Even
after all this time, it’s different from what I’m used to with teaching
adults. One way or another, I will
endure and survive. Tuesday is
over. Let’s see if the rest of the week
can help me feel better about life.
Onwards.
October 4, 2017
Ugh…I wanted to get
writing done this week to my family, but I might push that onto the
weekend. My long Hokkaido trip vacation
is coming, so I might just take this week and next week off from writing to get
stuff taken care of. Mostly because when I wake up I’m always tired so I prefer
to just rest. I feel like I only have
two modes, now. I’m either resting at
home or working, there is no in-between.
Anyway, Wednesday was fun, as it tends to be. My classes were good, we did some fun
exercises and talked Halloween. Attitude
really does make a huge difference in my ability to enjoy a class and, I think,
in students’ ability to learn. Anyway, I
came home and finished another game called Pankappu, which I was frustrated by
the sequel baiting as perfectly good stand alone experiences are often ruined
by sequel baiting, denying us the chance to just have everything come to a
close. Ugh…anyway, I’m probably not
going to get my letter writing done this week…we’ll see. I still have Friday, but Thursday, probably
not. I have editing to do and I’m also
really tired. Anyway, resting now as
class is tomorrow.
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