July: July 13 - July 20, 2017

July 13, 2017

I’m almost completely blown away by…well, my evaluation.  To say I soared through with flying colors would be a lie, but…I’ve never felt…so ENCOURAGED in my workplace.  People can be nice, yes, but in every job I’ve had, I tend to get very brusque critique.  While I do have some things I’ve made note on and want to work on, there was one phrase I heard today that I needed.  I never knew I needed it, because none of my bosses in my previous jobs has ever said it with true sincerity.  “You work so hard.”  To just have that recognized and to be encouraged is…something amazing.  I had some hit and miss classes, as I’m trying to adapt to my critiques, but I never knew I wanted that until now.  Just…bloody recognition.  A part of me wonders if this is why I’ve always been so down on myself in my work.  Because no one appreciated it.  I still have a way to go and not everyone likes me, but that was…something I wanted.

Also, I finished Hollow Knight.  Time to start up Dragon Quest builders.  Da da da da da da da daaaaaa dada da dada da da…if you’re a Dragon Quest fan, just imagine the main theme.  It’s really charming.

July 14, 2017

Not too much to report today.  Had a nice taste of reality as I realize I still need to improve.  Some classes, the students just won’t have energy, no matter what you do, so…gotta accept that, but I still have a ways to go.  The heat was intense today and I had to cope with it.  Very exhausting.  The whole week has been.  Anyway, I got some good Yakiniku tonight.  I ate my usual fair but had something that I think was Snagimon, or something similar.  It’s bird cartilage, I think.  Good, but not as good as beef or pig tongue.  I do like playing Dragon Quest builders so far and am looking forward to relaxing a bit with it this weekend, after my grocery shopping and Chicago trip class for the students.  Though I’m not working full days on Saturday, the stress is piling up and I feel a bit run ragged.  Still, for a school that puts faith in me like this…hell, I’ll deal with it.  Tired now, so going to get some rest.  Till tomorrow or Sunday.

July 15, 2017

Ugh…the day has exhausted me.  The heat, the classes, the groceries.  Bought more tacos today, bought a few regular supplies, but I’ll need more at the 711.  I have a TON of soda, which is pretty standard, I tend to buy in 1-2 week supplies.  The classes were fine, but they were an hour and a half, which is a marathon for me for one class.  We almost ran out of things to do because we were in the twilight of not wanting to start the next section because we wouldn’t finish, but not yet being ready to leave, so extra practice.  Anyway, it was exhausting and I am really tired.  I got to talk with one of my friends from China and that was nice.  She’s a charming young lady and it was good to hear that she remembers me and is doing well.  Playing Dragon Quest Builders and started up Gwent again.  I have a problem.

I am going to skip writing today and hopefully do some tomorrow.  We’ll see.  Not sure.  Anyway, this month is super exhausting, so I NEED Sunday for rest.  Now, DND with the UNEXPECTABLES, which is my favorite DnD podcast.  Holy shit, it is SO funny and SO charming and SO epic.  Listening to it while I play and snack and it’s wonderful.

July 16, 2017

Today I didn’t get much sleep.  I got some game time in, some rest, but mostly it was just a meh day overall.  The stress of my workload has hit me hard and I felt wiped by the end of it.  I did get to talk with a dear friend and tell them just how important they were in my life…and they really are.  It’s odd to say, but when an encounter with someone helps you to realize that you being you is not only okay, but that screw those who want to change who you are at your core, it’s something special.  I am grateful.  Also very very tired.  So, sleep.

July 17, 2017

Ugh…I went to bed early last night and I still felt wiped this morning.  Been following my new writing regimen of reviewing older chapters just to read when I’m not editing or writing and it still works.  The writing still does its job and that feels good.  But I had to get multiple naps before work and didn’t really want to leave my bed.  I think the classes went better today early on because of variety that I was including, but I had trouble later just because both myself and the students were running on empty.  So tired.  So stressed.  Still, I got a care package from my family and FINALLY have some new short sleeved dress shirts, so…gonna be changing into those soon.  Hell, maybe I’ll just do it tomorrow, I mean why wait?  We’ll see.  I have a hilarious picture of the mountain of food stuffs I had to make after the package, because while it’s all a treat, I have so little space, it’s kinda shocking, so I had to make the leaning tower of tacos.  Perhaps for another Saturday.  Anyway, tired, so going to do a smidge of gaming, then lay down for the night.  See ya.

July 18, 2017

Tuesday is always a struggle.  Feel like I’m just saying the same things week to week.  Tried some more varied stuffs and it…kinda worked?  I had one or two classes who were just so done with everything, so they didn’t want to learn.  It’s one thing I always have trouble accepting in that some classes just…don’t want to do things.  I need to go and buy a hot water dispenser, if I can find one for a good price, since my family’s care package included tea and it’s my favorite kind of tea.  I also got a chance to test out some of the short sleeved shirts my family bought for me.  They work well, since they’re cool and it’s hot.

July 19, 2017

Today, so far, has been a bit exhausting.  I hate grocery shopping because I have to do it in the morning before classes.  Got some supplies for more tacos which will be this weekend.  I also am trying to work out my sleep schedule as for the last few days I’ve had big issues going to sleep.  I lie down, but I feel too hot, even with my A/C and I have trouble just…falling into a restful sleep.  I compensate with naps before work which…isn’t always healthy.  I like having the option, but…I dunno.  I feel that I’ll have an easier time of sleeping when the Saturday classes are over.  We’ll see.  I had a dream a few days ago about quitting this job and it terrified me.  Not the change in life situation, but the idea that I would break my word gave me heart palpitations.  I know I don’t have it in me, but when you dream and that is your reality…it’s scary.  Anyway, that’s enough of me rambling for right now.  Till later.

Short update before bed.  Today was fine.  Not great, not terrible, but fine.  We had a last minute arrival for English level checking, so I missed my chance for dinner, but it’s no big deal.  Especially since my partner had to skip hers too.  Heart goes out to you.  I have a massive headache and super tired, but an update on the care package…no, it’s not all gone, but I just had a moment tonight, somewhere between the cheddar corn puffs, the dried mango slices, and the jerky and…it just made me feel like home.  The best parts, I mean.  Now, if only I could get a burger by mail.  I will have to probably repay my parents in some way…good lord, this is heavenly…I may need to pay them to send more.  But the cost was crazy!  I saw the cost of postage and was like JESUS!  Anyway, really enjoying it.  Now, I crash.  So tired…

July 20, 2017

Poor sleep week continues.  My attempts at variety in class are a bit hit or miss.  I never know if I’m doing as well as I can because the variance in students and attitudes to certain activities make it hard to tell.  I am trying, at least. Well, sleep has been an issue.  Today, I got through my classes, but seriously felt faint for how tired I was.  I’ve been trying to go to bed earlier and earlier and to get more and more sleep, but it’s been…a losing battle.  Even if I get sleep it sometimes doesn’t make a huge difference.  I woke up this morning to a quake.  Wasn’t going to go back to sleep till it was over.  Disorienting.  It felt strange in my tummy to be lying in bed with everything shaking and rattling.  Trying to go to sleep earlier now, but if I actually go to sleep is a toss up.  So tired.  So very tired. Yakiniku tomorrow.  Hold on to that.

Also, apologies for my blog followers for the lateness of this upload.  I’m just too tired to upload it right at this moment.  The classes to help train students for their trip to Chicago have thrown my internal clock off a great deal and it bounces back and can affect my whole week.  Two more Saturdays.