August 3, 2017
Well, today was fun…I
meant that in both the literal and the ironic sense of the word. More office politics. I try not to let it get me down because I’m
trying not to care. If I’m not going to survive on my skill and my character
then…well, I need to be somewhere else.
Though, again, I do love this city.
I want to stay here. Anyway, I
got a chance for a one on one with several students today due to holidays. One of them was a charming gentleman, yes, an
adult, who shared the name Saburo Kitajima with me, as I confided in him my
love for Enka and he recommended this gentleman. The music is pretty great. I love the soul of Japan that is in this
music, but I never have a reason to look for it…till now, of course. I like to think my students like me…that
said, I also had an awkward moment today where, not sure what I ate, but I got
stomach problems in my last class. They
were good natured about it, as it was funny and I resolved it quickly, but I
had to excuse myself. Bit frustrating,
but it happens to every teacher at least once in a while. Thankfully, only once when I was in
China. That was…I was lucky I could
count on my comrades there. Wherever you
are, Xizhimen center buddies, thanks be.
Here, I was lucky it wasn’t too bad.
Anyway, I have had a
chance to listen to new Unexpectables and to some enka, so despite the
difficulties with work, I feel good about life.
Now, if I get through my evaluation/meeting near the tail end of August,
I’ll feel better. And if not…sigh. I’d rather not think about it. It’s been a long life. And I’ve had to, with help, pull myself up
from the neurotic mess that, the public school systems and the BS double
standard of society, created. I’m a
functional human being with an iron clad sense of honor and even these little
difficulties I let go of in time. Do no
harm to others because…how do you gain from that? What is the point? Despite all these advancements and my
awakening into who I truly am and want to be…old habits die hard and I am
nervous. I have no reason to be, and I
know this, but still…it…weighs on my thoughts.
I’ll manage. One way or another, I manage. I’ll be taking a short break from writing
this weekend. The new chapter is done
and it is almost 30 pages…which is longer than I want, but the bits in it are
good and I like the world building, so screw it, I’m not cutting it in half for
separate chapters or cutting it down. I
have plans for the weekend though and little time to myself as is, so…taking a
short break. I also got a letter from an old friend. Always nice.
I hang on. I am like the most determined goblin in
Discworld. Hang, Mr. Vimes. Hang high or hang low, but whatever you do,
hang on. Keeping on keeping on. I will survive and god willing, stay here,
one way or another. I hang on.
August 4, 2017
Hang, indeed, Mr.
Vimes. Ugh…today was stressful. I’ve been depressed since I hit work. I know why.
It’s the damned anxiety.
Uncertainty is scary and cruel and it makes me sad because there are
some things I just cannot change. So, I
did my best to get through the day.
People tell me that it won’t be so bad, that my meeting with my boss and
my future here will be fine. That
doesn’t stop the worry. Especially
with…well, whatever. I’ve got the
weekend to try and rest and regain some energy, as well as to hit up some
festivals. Yakiniku is good. Classes were fine, a mix of ups and
downs. Next week is holiday. Whatever happens, happens.
I have to say, the song,
Mad World, kinda resonated with me today.
When you’re sad, those kinds of songs always do. Truly, the dreams of when I’m dying are the
best I’ve ever had. Though, that’s
mostly because in my dreams, I’m dying for something I believe in. Put down your panic buttons, people. I’m not gonna die. I have promises to keep. Men of honor keep their promises. Another poem that resonates me is the doctor
from Robert Frost’s old poem. Always
more to do. This land is beautiful,
but…responsibilities.
The woods are beautiful,
dark and deep, but I have promises to keep.
And miles to go before I sleep. And miles to go before I sleep.
August 5, 2017
Today I did a lot and
very little…kind of odd, really. Talked
to my family in the morning, which was nice, I’d gotten letters from home and
that helped with the sadness lately, but it was still good to see
everyone. I spent a lot of time just
vegging. Trying to recover from my week
and the month of previous stresses. Around 2:30, I headed out to try and find
the Matsuri celebration. I stopped along
the way to get my bike tuned up and it works much better now.
There were lots of
beautiful spots along the way to Matsuri and I am always impressed by Japan’s
way of intermingling nature and convenience.
Parks and rest stops were frequent and very pretty. Matsuri, at least the one I went to, was
pretty chill as far as festivals go. It
was on school grounds and had the typical expectations of a fair, like a small
county fair, for example. There were
lots of stalls lined up selling cool foods and stuffs, a few games for the
little kids, and live entertainment with some school children doing a…hip hop
dance, I think? They had a few contests
and also a live MC to officiate everything.
Pretty interesting. It’s not the
bombastic party I thought it could be, but that’s probably for the best. I am okay with a small festival like
this. Didn’t stay for the fireworks for
reasons we’ll get into later, but as I sit here writing this, the rain is
pouring down outside, so…again, for the best.
I was mostly enamored with all the fair food. I got myself some takoyaki and a kind of egg
and cabbage pancake made with Japanese style bacon, which is closer to
ham. Very good, but it was very
filling. Very carby. I also got some strawberry soda, which was
great, in a light bulb shaped glass.
Apparently this is a thing in Japan. I enjoyed my food and even wore out
my black coat, since I didn’t have a yukata or kimono with me. Also, most of the guests, not the cooks but
the guests, were in traditional old style garb, especially the youngsters. Very classical Japan mixed with the
modern. I also had a strawberry syrup
covered banana, churros, and some absolutely divine gyutori, which is grilled
beef. I wanted to eat much more, as they
had delicious looking yakisoba, yakitori, ice cream, shaved ice, etc. I was pretty full and knew if I ate more,
though, that I’d get sick, so I abstained.
That’s the big reason why I wanted to head home. I stayed there for a good hour or two,
enjoyed the sights, the smells, the delicious food, I wish this was like every
month instead of just during certain seasonal dates, as this would be a fun
thing to do alongside getting a bath at the bath house. Really awesome. I was, however, drenched with sweat by the
end of it, so I was glad for a shower and a chance to come home and rest. I need to find more street vendors selling
yakisoba or stuff like that, though.
Nothing beats a live street vendor, it puts even the well stocked
convenience stores and grocery stores to shame.
I have ramen shops near me, I have sushi near me, I even have yakiniku
and tempura soba(the bathhouse) near me, but I now want a yakitori or yakisoba
shop near me. I spent a decent amount at this festival as well. Exact counts are out, but between 4 and 5
thousand yen, so about 40-50 bucks.
Worth it, but glad I have my buffers for times like this.
One final note. This is more of a family affair, so I
probably didn’t get the most out of it that I could. If I had family or friends to picnic with, as
was common with the rest of the families, I would have probably gotten more out
of it. That said, I’m also at the age
where fidget spinners, toy swords, and inflatable hammers and toys don’t really
excite me, so…yeah, this kind of festival was more for children. God, I’m getting old…still, glad I went. Now, I hope I have energy for tomorrow’s
adventure. I need to find Jozenji street
and the last breath of Tanabata in Sendai.
August 6, 2017
Ugh…so hot…I intended to
stay out till about 5 today, maybe get a sweets paradise all you can eat cake
buffet, but the heat beat me down. I
felt heat exhaustion incoming and probably would have suffered a great deal
more if not for my precautions. So, yes,
I did get to see Tanabata. For the most
part, it’s just a lot of pretty decorations commemorating an ancient story of
star crossed love who can only meet for one night each year. The crowds were intense and many times,
they’d just stall as one or two people stop dead in the middle of the road for
photos. There were some cool
performances, but my most fun moments were kind of disconnected from Tanabata
as a whole. Visiting a side room temple
and a gorgeous shadow box museum. If you
can find the Senkan gallery, it’s well worth a visit as the little diorama
shadowboxes there are amazing. If I
wasn’t poor, I’d ask the price, but…I am, so I didn’t. They’re probably not even for sale. Anyway, that was my Tanabata. I took some pictures, they’ll be a bonus
update come Saturday. Mostly, though,
I’m just super super tired. I ran out of
water and almost suffered dehydration and heat exhaustion, but since I was
close to home when it happened, I managed to tough it out. I also coughed up an extra 100 yen to park my
bike by the train station to cut down on walking time and that helped
IMMENSELY, as it was less time in the sun and I got some wind on my face.
Tanabata seems like
another family thing, where you get the kids, go shopping, and peruse the
beautiful decorations and side show stuffs.
The same kind of stalls were there that were at Matsuri, but I wasn’t
hungry for that stuff at the time. I
passed it all by. I did go a bit
touristy today, however, so I spent a good 5k yen. Some on food, some on trinkets. I also got more stickers for my school…I was
in the neighborhood, so why not, the Loft has a great selection. Honestly, I
feel a bit disappointed because there’s not as many things for a loner to do. I don’t have a posse to hang out with
here…and I kinda don’t need one, since I like my own company. But most of the events are the kind of things
you appreciate more with others, so…I dunno.
Got plans for vacation, so we’ll see how that goes, but for now, I want
to just rest and recover from the heat.
God, it was like being back in NC in the worst ways. So bloody hot…
August 7, 2017
Ugh…Monday is usually
easy and…you know, I just realized that I start a lot of these entries with
“ugh,” however…anyway, Monday is usually easy, but I started today feeling sick
to my stomach. The heat and humidity
didn’t help either. Thankfully, my
students on Monday have great energy, love to laugh and have fun, and we were
able to deal. I struggled all day with
the heat, though. I was able to finish
class and I am noticing progress with a few, though. That’s nice.
Also, I managed to get a lot of stuff done today at home. I got data on how to make a wire transfer to
the US, which I will try on Thursday, probably.
I also got info for renewing my passport, which I may wait on, just in
case I need help. Still need to ask
people about which post office to use.
Also, I spent a bit of time at home getting some stuff ready for other
classes. Not much gaming tonight, but at
least it’s done. I went grocery shopping
today as well and I always feel weird about spending so much money…should be
fine, though. I just get antsy. Anyway, life goes on. Two more days until my break.
August 8, 2017
And we’re back to
Tuesdays. What gets me more down? Classes where the students have no energy or
classes where the students are wild and enjoy mocking the teacher. Not sure.
Either way, putting my foot down next week. I’ve gotten better at discipline and it’s
time to flex the muscle. I am super
tired, honestly, and still worried about my future, since it is largely
uncertain. But, tomorrow is the last day
before vacation. Come hell or high
water, I’m doing my house cleaning, and most of all, I get yakiniku tomorrow,
to celebrate the end of a week, as per standard. Whatever happens, the world keeps on turning.
Also, been watching Star
vs. The Forces of Evil. Surprisingly
addictive for how stupid it looks on paper.
It’s a really fun complement to Steven Universe, which is more about world
building and enjoyable character arcs, while SVFOE is funny and really a joy to
watch. Helps the characters are both competent and likable.
August 9, 2017
Not too much to report
today. It was a standard Wednesday with
a different kind of ending. Today, after
classes, my 7 day vacation can finally begin.
So, I got yakiniku and made plans.
At least one of my days, I’ll need to stay home so I can get my A/C
fixed, however I finally have a chance to rest, do a bit of minor traveling and
sight seeing, and just…enjoy life. For
the first time in…ages, I’ve felt light as a feather. Now, if only you were here. You know who you are XD Okay, enough teasing. Night, everyone.
August 10, 2017
Busy day at the
start. Not so much near the end. I got up and headed down to the bank to try a
wire transfer. It took me roughly two
hours to do…which was a bit tiring. I’ll
have to see if it worked fine, but I have a good feeling about it. I also got a haircut. The bangs are a bit shorter than I want, but
overall, not too bad. Finally, I headed
to the bathhouse to relax. Saw one of
the cooks who knows me and we chatted for a bit after a relaxing soak. I also made tacos for the night and relaxed
part of the day with the Unexpectables which…wow, what a finale for season
2. Anyway, good times. Still tired and still wanting to veg, but
life feels a bit more manageable now.
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