August 24, 2017
God almighty…I feel like
I’ve been hit by a dump truck. The
classes were…okay…fine, sure. But the
heat and humidity are giving me constant migraines, I am suffering from a ton of
stomach pains and last night, I got like…4 hours of sleep in between the migraines
and the stomach pains. I had to be up
early for the air conditioner repair guy, who was so nice and charming, and
then I just bloody collapsed…after doing some editing because somehow I managed
it. Ugh.
This job is still easier than the AT&T job if for no other reason
than I have water and bathrooms at the ready…oh, and my students are
great. That too. I guess.
Just…wow…I feel like…death. I did
get some work done with laminating some new flash cards, so hopefully that
helps a few people out. I’ll look for
some new card holders for the school on Saturday, since I need to get a few
minor office supplies for my own home.
Good god, so tired…need to go to the bank tomorrow morning for spending
money. So tired. So very tired…
August 25, 2017
Rage is one of the few
emotions I could feel between the heat headaches and the stomach pains. Not at my students, either. They were great. But…sigh.
I just want to help others. I’ve
had so much shit happen to me in my life and been shat on by fortune enough
that I don’t want that for other people and yet…sigh. Whatever.
This ain’t the time or the place.
I’ve felt like I was hit by a train all day, with my stomach doing
cartwheels, my head throbbing, and my body just cheering me “Fall, fall, fall!”
I did not fall…who would take my place if I did? I was honor bound to not, so I
didn’t. Still…a test of patience and
fortitude today. Yakiniku was good, at
least. Good god, the food there is so
good…how will I live without it if I have to leave?
August 26, 2017
Last night
was…problematic. Low amount of sleep,
high amount of time in the bathroom.
Thankfully, after some time, a hot bath, and medicine, I think my
dysentery, which I feel sure it was, is waning.
We’ll have to see. I used my
Japanese to buy medicine and shopped for a few supplies to help order my home
and work space. Anyway, I also wanted to
head out to that temple I like through the rice fields, but the heat just beat
me to a pulp…so bad with the sun out, so I turned back before I got there and
headed for the baths. I was so tired I
didn’t stay in for too long and when I headed home, even my NEW shirt was
sweaty. I cannot wait for winter.
Probably going to put off writing till Sunday so I can get some proper damn
sleep, but either way, at least this weekend seems good. I also talked with my family and posted up my
bonus photos, so have a look at those, it’s the last post.
August 27 – August 28, 2017
Sigh. I spent a lot of time just resting on Sunday
and I still felt dead tired on Monday.
Thankfully, after doing some paperwork organizing, my desk looks better
AND I found receipts for some of my furniture, like my TV, so if my contract
isn’t renewed, I can get a bit of money.
They said they’d pay for a portion of stuff I leave, if I have a
receipt. Because of my stomach and some personal matters, I was a bit somber
and tired all day Sunday. Right now, I
feel like I’m waiting on Gwent’s next patch to hit so I can fill the void with
pointless card games.
Monday was Monday. Early classes were fine, late classes were
fine, but it was a bit somber as one of the students had to leave because of
scheduling and they spent time with their mates after my class with photos for
the memories. It…really took me back to
my college days. I never had that many
people I could count on and I feel that’s something I always missed out on. A feeling of…community, I guess? Also remembering Within the Wires(Such a good
podcast) got me a bit somber too.
Sigh…this is gonna be a rough week, I think.
Stomach seems to be
settling a bit. I still get the urge to
hit the toilet more than I feel I should, but it is improving. The medicine seems to be helping. I feel like I’ve hit a point where all I want
to do is sleep and veg…even more than gaming, really. It’s…weird.
This feeling is wonderful when you wake up in the morning or take a
short nap before work and can just cocoon in your blankets and get a nice,
warm, safe feeling, but…I dunno, man.
Maybe having the ability to get sleep isn’t natural for me. I’m so used to being tired and stressed it
carries over to when I’m not tired and stressed. Well, whatever. Life goes on.
August 29-August 30, 2017
Sigh. Stressful, but not too bad. I got to talk with a friend of mine in the
US, but we’re both pretty stretched thin.
Good news is that my sickness seems to be waning. I am also managing my classes well and though
I still speak more Japanese than I am content with, the students learn and get
the point across, so…works well. Anyway,
I don’t have too much to report. I’m
tired, but I’m always tired.
The new Gwent patch hit,
though, so I have plenty of fun things to do.
Looking forward to playing around with it and experimenting. I may be in
need of some self reflection, however.
I’m currently living, yes, and enjoying life, but it’s a state of
perpetual now. Others are pushing me to
think about five or even ten years down the road and while I do plan ahead as
part of my regular life…that’s a bit much, considering the ephemeral nature of
the current state of affairs. So, not
worrying about it for now. Playing cards
instead.
August 31, 2017
Not much to say about
class today. Got a chance to talk about
the hurricane in Texas and hopefully get people thinking. Working on just…hanging on, for various
reasons. Stomach is better, but really,
I’m just tired and prone to headaches.
Good news and bad
news. Good news is there is a new Ys
game which I am psyched to buy…it’ll probably be another shipment I get from
America, along with a few new books. I’m
gonna try and get into the Vampire Hunter D novels, since I LOVED the graphic
novel additions which…sadly, are not going to be continuing. The bad news is the nostalgia and listless
feeling I’ve had for a bit. I remember the days of my youth…they were NOT
good. Not at all. However, I survived
through the golden age of RPGs and by having Toonami and anime when it was new
and fresh to the American audience. I
want that back, but even being here in Japan, it’s…not the same. I still love this country and love living
here, but I feel…I dunno, like something is missing. Sigh…and the few people I would talk to about
this are more interested in trying to make me do something rather than…just
understanding the feeling I’m going through.
Yes, I want love but more than that, I want that spark…I’ve recaptured
it at different times in my life, like when I got to see Flight of Dragons or
the Last Unicorn again. Memories…but…I
don’t know what to do about that here. I
could always replay Odin Sphere, which is…just so good…anyway, I’m never sure
where to go or what to do about the future. I am good at living. I am not so sure if thriving or whatever you
want to call it is in the cards.
Whatever happens, though. I
endure.
Hang, Mr. Vimes. Need
to re-read Making Money, actually. That takes me back.
