November 3, 2017
Today I did some grocery shopping. Had to scrap my old razor because they
couldn’t resupply me here and I bought a new one. I also am getting tired of some of the rooms
being brutally hot due to the heater and the large number of students. Sigh.
Anyway, that’s not what I want to talk about.
Let me talk with you for
a moment about intentionality. Some
people think that you can be a good person just by doing nice things or
flashing a fake smile, but intention is everything. Even a kind act can twist and turn wicked if
your intention was such. I am a good
person. I know this because I have looked back and while not all my intentions
were pure, I have made amends and contrition for my mistakes. Now, I only seek to help others. I am someone who understands full well that I
am not going to be rewarded or lauded or even really acknowledged for my
work…and yet I do it anyway. Because if
the situation were reversed, I know I’d be glad to have someone who did. Since no one would when I was younger, my
intention is to help those who need it and to make lives easier, if I can. That is my intention. I am a good person. This I know because intentionality is
everything.
November 4, 2017
Lord, I am so tired…so
very tired. Most of my candy is gone
now. I have still to wait for my family
to receive theirs. I…just want to
rest. A part of me misses Overwatch,
which I’ve been absent from for a good while, but…a part of me just wants to
sleep for a good long while. The students were fine today, but the fatigue is
just getting to me.
Also, fun fact, alongside
my candy being nearly all gone, I found a water issues. Turns out there was a slow leak in an old
kettle I was using before I got my GOOD electric kettle. And it seeped into one half of my gas
oven…and out below to douse the top of the cabin it was on. Fun…I had to wipe the crap up and then
speculate on if I ever want to use that oven again…the answer is probably not,
and not just because of the water. I’m not
in the mood for gas cooking, now or ever. Going to try and get my photos up for
this week. It’s…a matter of personal
determination and pride, I guess.
November 5-November 6, 2017
Okay, so…today
was…okay? I guess? I mean, lots of good, but also lots of
meh. My writing…I love my writing, but I
have two modes. I either feel it’s
brilliant or I have no idea if it has any value, largely because I haven’t been
able to get stable/steady editors. I
went window shopping for a sofa today, just in case I wanted to return to the
halcyon days of futon sofa, and was pitifully disappointed. I got a bath, which was nice, but…I just felt
kinda meh, especially around a game called Kingdom which was just…meh. Good news is I got a new game in the Witcher
3 game of the year edition.
I want to take a minute
and talk about the difference between a good game and an excellent game. I was playing Ys 8 Lacrimosa of Dana, which
is a very good game and I will go back to it.
It’s a good game largely because of one or two factors. The music is outstanding and the combat is
fast and spritely, making it a breeze to play.
That is good. Excellent games,
like Odin Sphere, are the total package.
EVERYTHING works in synergistic harmony to create an experience that is
greater than the sum of its parts. With
Odin Sphere, the graphics are gorgeous and perfectly compliment the unusual
aesthetic and story of the fantasy world it is set in. The gameplay works to show off the graphics,
while being simple to pick up and devious to master. The acting and scripting give a true
character to all the pretty visuals that taken as a whole makes the people
there seem more real or 3 dimensional than many actual human beings, and the
music fits the setting, graphics, and story perfectly. It is more than just each part on its own.
The Witcher 3, after only
about 4 hours, is an excellent game because it can balance all these disparate
factors in an open world perfectly. It
strikes a good balance between complexity and simplicity and allows you to feel
smart and like a detective without having to be obfuscating or frustratingly
cryptic. The characters, scripting, and
visuals are a feast for eyes, ears, and soul and they work in tandem so well to
create an addicting experience that is hard to put down and where even if you
don’t use all the systems available to you in the game, it is still rich in
content and you will never lock yourself out of having fun with the systems
later on, like alchemy, magic, or swordsmanship. The music is good, but not on Odin Sphere’s
level and it is a bit slow to start.
That said, you feel a real sense of achievement and progression with
each level up, unlike many standard rpgs.
It is a wonder…and it’s going to be devouring my life in between me
handling my real world responsibilities.
I still have a lot to do
this month…and next month…but in between that time, I will be gaming and trying
to remember why I love storytelling, why I love games, and why I love
people. Because as frustrating as people
are, I am glad for them. Most of the
time, at least. Hang, everybody. Also,
for the Overwatch fans. Live with Honor.
November 7, 2017
Ugh…I hate Tuesdays. It’s rough, all around, but especially so
when you have your number of classes increased in the latter half of the
day. I worked 5 classes, then had a 30
minute break, then another 5 classes.
Sigh. It’s Eiken week. I got my hair cut as well, but…it’s just
whatever. Now, I need to get my passport
stuff together. I’ll say that I feel
incredibly stressed every Tuesday. It’s
a terrible way to start the week because my classes are difficult in a myriad
of different ways, cept for the evening classes, which are pretty good. I did get to at least share with my adult
student a bit of my love for the classics like Galaxy Express 999 and Hokuto no
Ken. We have a good time, even though I
was so hungry I had to get a snack while I waited for him and then finished it
as we headed up the stairs to class.
It’s…not professional and I don’t want to make that a habit, but today
was a bloody marathon. I tried one of the methods of my old school of having
students talk in pairs today. I think
they were not confident about it, so it stalled halfway through. May not do that again. It’s a great tool, but the students have to
be both motivated to do it and not too shy.
When it comes to teenagers, that’s…a crap shoot, so…we’ll see.
I’ve come to the decision
that no matter what happens, I’m going to try and stay in Asia for at least
another year. I miss my family and my
friends terribly, but it’s prohibitively expensive at this moment to return
home and I have all the things I need to be happy both here or if I have to
move to China. I hope to backup my
digital files this weekend, as I’m taking the advice of a friend and handling
it with a special service. I like this
job, despite its numerous difficulties and this town is a nice place to live,
especially now that it’s getting cold.
If I don’t get an offer to stay though, I’ll look elsewhere in the
leadup to my departure and if I can’t make that work, I’ll head back to
China. For some of the complaints I had
about my last school, their method of teaching suited me very well and after
some practice and work, I was very good at it.
In a way, I still am. I might not be the most technically talented
teacher, but I have heart at least, and I don’t quit. I work hard.
Karma will pay me back in the end.
This I do believe.
November 8, 2017
God, my throat is
shot. All the Eiken interview
practices…I also got a false scare, as someone told me a class that I asked
about but that was not given info on was supposed to be doing Eiken stuff, but
in actuality, they were not…so…yeah…sigh.
Wednesday is supposed to be my easy day, but I’m just so stressed and
tired. Not getting enough sleep isn’t
helping. I’ll be glad when this is
over. We do the Eiken stuff every 6
months, but…ugh…anyway, life goes on.
Trying to keep myself together, despite the difficulties that entails.
November 9, 2017
Tired…frustrated. Forgot to get my cheese and had to run back
to the convenience store after I got dinner.
I’m so very exhausted. And I have
two more days left. Unexpectables took a
dark turn and all the feels, all the sad, horrifying feels. And tomorrow, despite going to bed late, I
have to do my house cleaning. I am not
sure how to feel or what to say. Sad to
say that this is becoming a routine. I
have some joy. I like the Witcher and I
have some fun times in my life, but exhaustion…it twists you. I think this too is merely a phase. Culture fatigue or basic exhaustion…not sure
which. I will carry on, but I miss my
comrades. I will stay strong. I am bound
by honor. This keeps me strong. I do not
fall. Hang, mister Vimes.
Hehe, it sounds like I’m
losing my mind, huh? For friends, you
ought to know by now that I have a flair for the melodramatic. Nothing more
melodramatic than the stalwart sentinel.
Onwards I go.
