November 3 - November 9, 2017

November 3, 2017

Today I did some grocery shopping.  Had to scrap my old razor because they couldn’t resupply me here and I bought a new one.  I also am getting tired of some of the rooms being brutally hot due to the heater and the large number of students.  Sigh.  Anyway, that’s not what I want to talk about.

Let me talk with you for a moment about intentionality.  Some people think that you can be a good person just by doing nice things or flashing a fake smile, but intention is everything.  Even a kind act can twist and turn wicked if your intention was such.  I am a good person. I know this because I have looked back and while not all my intentions were pure, I have made amends and contrition for my mistakes.  Now, I only seek to help others.  I am someone who understands full well that I am not going to be rewarded or lauded or even really acknowledged for my work…and yet I do it anyway.  Because if the situation were reversed, I know I’d be glad to have someone who did.  Since no one would when I was younger, my intention is to help those who need it and to make lives easier, if I can.  That is my intention.  I am a good person.  This I know because intentionality is everything.

November 4, 2017

Lord, I am so tired…so very tired.  Most of my candy is gone now.  I have still to wait for my family to receive theirs.  I…just want to rest.  A part of me misses Overwatch, which I’ve been absent from for a good while, but…a part of me just wants to sleep for a good long while. The students were fine today, but the fatigue is just getting to me.

Also, fun fact, alongside my candy being nearly all gone, I found a water issues.  Turns out there was a slow leak in an old kettle I was using before I got my GOOD electric kettle.  And it seeped into one half of my gas oven…and out below to douse the top of the cabin it was on.  Fun…I had to wipe the crap up and then speculate on if I ever want to use that oven again…the answer is probably not, and not just because of the water.  I’m not in the mood for gas cooking, now or ever. Going to try and get my photos up for this week.  It’s…a matter of personal determination and pride, I guess.

November 5-November 6, 2017

Okay, so…today was…okay?  I guess?  I mean, lots of good, but also lots of meh.  My writing…I love my writing, but I have two modes.  I either feel it’s brilliant or I have no idea if it has any value, largely because I haven’t been able to get stable/steady editors.  I went window shopping for a sofa today, just in case I wanted to return to the halcyon days of futon sofa, and was pitifully disappointed.  I got a bath, which was nice, but…I just felt kinda meh, especially around a game called Kingdom which was just…meh.  Good news is I got a new game in the Witcher 3 game of the year edition.

I want to take a minute and talk about the difference between a good game and an excellent game.  I was playing Ys 8 Lacrimosa of Dana, which is a very good game and I will go back to it.  It’s a good game largely because of one or two factors.  The music is outstanding and the combat is fast and spritely, making it a breeze to play.  That is good.  Excellent games, like Odin Sphere, are the total package.  EVERYTHING works in synergistic harmony to create an experience that is greater than the sum of its parts.  With Odin Sphere, the graphics are gorgeous and perfectly compliment the unusual aesthetic and story of the fantasy world it is set in.  The gameplay works to show off the graphics, while being simple to pick up and devious to master.  The acting and scripting give a true character to all the pretty visuals that taken as a whole makes the people there seem more real or 3 dimensional than many actual human beings, and the music fits the setting, graphics, and story perfectly.  It is more than just each part on its own.

The Witcher 3, after only about 4 hours, is an excellent game because it can balance all these disparate factors in an open world perfectly.  It strikes a good balance between complexity and simplicity and allows you to feel smart and like a detective without having to be obfuscating or frustratingly cryptic.  The characters, scripting, and visuals are a feast for eyes, ears, and soul and they work in tandem so well to create an addicting experience that is hard to put down and where even if you don’t use all the systems available to you in the game, it is still rich in content and you will never lock yourself out of having fun with the systems later on, like alchemy, magic, or swordsmanship.  The music is good, but not on Odin Sphere’s level and it is a bit slow to start.  That said, you feel a real sense of achievement and progression with each level up, unlike many standard rpgs.  It is a wonder…and it’s going to be devouring my life in between me handling my real world responsibilities.

I still have a lot to do this month…and next month…but in between that time, I will be gaming and trying to remember why I love storytelling, why I love games, and why I love people.  Because as frustrating as people are, I am glad for them.  Most of the time, at least. Hang, everybody.  Also, for the Overwatch fans.  Live with Honor.

November 7, 2017

Ugh…I hate Tuesdays.  It’s rough, all around, but especially so when you have your number of classes increased in the latter half of the day.  I worked 5 classes, then had a 30 minute break, then another 5 classes.  Sigh.  It’s Eiken week.  I got my hair cut as well, but…it’s just whatever.  Now, I need to get my passport stuff together.  I’ll say that I feel incredibly stressed every Tuesday.  It’s a terrible way to start the week because my classes are difficult in a myriad of different ways, cept for the evening classes, which are pretty good.  I did get to at least share with my adult student a bit of my love for the classics like Galaxy Express 999 and Hokuto no Ken.  We have a good time, even though I was so hungry I had to get a snack while I waited for him and then finished it as we headed up the stairs to class.  It’s…not professional and I don’t want to make that a habit, but today was a bloody marathon. I tried one of the methods of my old school of having students talk in pairs today.  I think they were not confident about it, so it stalled halfway through.  May not do that again.  It’s a great tool, but the students have to be both motivated to do it and not too shy.  When it comes to teenagers, that’s…a crap shoot, so…we’ll see.

I’ve come to the decision that no matter what happens, I’m going to try and stay in Asia for at least another year.  I miss my family and my friends terribly, but it’s prohibitively expensive at this moment to return home and I have all the things I need to be happy both here or if I have to move to China.  I hope to backup my digital files this weekend, as I’m taking the advice of a friend and handling it with a special service.  I like this job, despite its numerous difficulties and this town is a nice place to live, especially now that it’s getting cold.  If I don’t get an offer to stay though, I’ll look elsewhere in the leadup to my departure and if I can’t make that work, I’ll head back to China.  For some of the complaints I had about my last school, their method of teaching suited me very well and after some practice and work, I was very good at it.  In a way, I still am. I might not be the most technically talented teacher, but I have heart at least, and I don’t quit.  I work hard.  Karma will pay me back in the end.  This I do believe.

November 8, 2017

God, my throat is shot.  All the Eiken interview practices…I also got a false scare, as someone told me a class that I asked about but that was not given info on was supposed to be doing Eiken stuff, but in actuality, they were not…so…yeah…sigh.  Wednesday is supposed to be my easy day, but I’m just so stressed and tired.  Not getting enough sleep isn’t helping.  I’ll be glad when this is over.  We do the Eiken stuff every 6 months, but…ugh…anyway, life goes on.  Trying to keep myself together, despite the difficulties that entails.

November 9, 2017

Tired…frustrated.  Forgot to get my cheese and had to run back to the convenience store after I got dinner.  I’m so very exhausted.  And I have two more days left.  Unexpectables took a dark turn and all the feels, all the sad, horrifying feels.  And tomorrow, despite going to bed late, I have to do my house cleaning.  I am not sure how to feel or what to say.  Sad to say that this is becoming a routine.  I have some joy.  I like the Witcher and I have some fun times in my life, but exhaustion…it twists you.  I think this too is merely a phase.  Culture fatigue or basic exhaustion…not sure which.  I will carry on, but I miss my comrades.  I will stay strong. I am bound by honor.  This keeps me strong. I do not fall. Hang, mister Vimes.

Hehe, it sounds like I’m losing my mind, huh?  For friends, you ought to know by now that I have a flair for the melodramatic. Nothing more melodramatic than the stalwart sentinel.  Onwards I go.