June: June 7 - June 13

June 7, 2017

Been playing Horizon Zero Dawn tonight and I have to say it’s almost comical once you learn the secret behind everything.  I won’t spoil too much, but it’s amazing how corporate short sightedness and human arrogance can lead to the entire extinction of a race.  Fascinating if it weren’t so darkly possible.  Tell me that it won’t happen.  Do it.  Then look at the American political and corporate farce that we call a government.  Then tell me it won’t happen with a straight face.  I’ll wait. I don’t tend to get political here and the reason is that if you define yourself via politics, it kinda…makes it impossible to talk to someone because they refuse to change, it’s part of their identity.  Still…what was it that Schwarzvald said?  Wake up.  Don’t be afraid of knowledge.  Unless you want to sink into oblivion, you must think.  THINK!!!
            Alright, heavy stuff out of the way, let me just say that today was interesting for a few reasons.  Been getting more headaches lately and I’m finally gonna cave and go medicine hunting tomorrow before work.  I want some advil or something.  I also want to stop by the post office if I have time to pick up some amazing cards for friends and family.  Seriously wondrous.

Classes went well today.  I am still in need of catching myself with Japanese, and I was critiqued on it today, but it was far less brutal than before.  I do appreciate that some people in the world do know how to give a fair critique that is helpful but not soul crushing.  Anyway, I hope I’m getting better with a few classes.  The inclusion of new topics to discuss and trying to go away from the mundane should help, but I worry that the topics I use in adult classes may be either too hard to explain or go over the heads of my younger students.  We’ll see.

Wednesdays are always hard for me.  Very little time to rest and lots of time running full tilt, which is kind of what happened today.  Working on some new flash cards to supplement my comparative lessons.  We’ll see how it goes.  See, brain, I didn’t forget.  I will also say that I feel I may move writing exclusively to weekends and editing to the week.  It is just too hard for me to get in the zone, in the right frame of mind, when I have such a time limit on me leading up to classes.  So, I’ll give this new setup a try.  Two days of writing, or one if I’m lazy, and then two days of editing during the week.  Editing takes less time than actually wordsmithing, so it should be manageable.

I also need to bloody make an article for Rakuen when I finish it.  The game deserves it, so I might take a day or two for that next week.  I’m looking forward to the weekend, but aren’t I always?

June 8, 2017

There’s something very sobering about watching a group of people come to terms with the inevitability of death and the total futility of life.  Sobering and depressing.  Horizon Zero Dawn digs deep into the human pathos and it makes me believe with certainty that if we go extinct as a species…we’ll have no one but ourselves to blame.  Sigh.

Anyway, classes today were fine. There’s a bug going around so a few people are worried about the teachers falling sick.  I say that if I didn’t let the throat bug in China, which nearly cost me my voice, drop me or make me take a sick day, pretty much nothing will.  I’m too bloody dedicated and honest.  Either way, I am getting waves of fatigue at times.  It’ll pass when I’m with my students, as you have no time for fatigue, you gotta move, but still…frustrating.  I bought some headache medicine as well, just in case, as I’ve had those going off and on.  I also dropped about 70 bucks on postcards for family.  They’re too awesome and adorable to not.  I might actually set some up this weekend and take photos since they are just that cool. Beyond that, I find that the week really is a struggle at times to get through.  Some days easier, some days harder, but I am looking forward to the weekend and a chance to rest.  I thought about looking into the Sendai festival I’d heard about, but couldn’t find any trace of it online and frankly…I won’t let my life be dictated by others.  If I want pizza, to do bike maintenance, and go to the Yamaya, by god I will.  Also, I called hospitals today to see if I could get prescriptions.  Probably going to need the help of the Japanese teachers to get past the receptionists, but what Japanese I have at my command, I use well, especially when I was making the calls.

June 9, 2017

Ugh, been thinking on Horizon Zero Dawn too much.  I like the game, but I’ll be glad when it’s over.  Funny how a CEO claiming to do the best for everyone just ends up screwing people over in the end, huh, Ted Faro(It’s a game reference, you don’t have to get it.)

I’ve been getting minor headaches and stomachaches lately.  Today, I headed to the bank and got some money out of my account, though I overshot it at first.  I have terrible directional sense. Classes were fine, though when people get sick there is a worry they won’t be able to handle classes.  Since we’re a small organization, if one person has to bow out for a day, the rest of us have to work harder. I may need to work Saturday, but…eh, probably not.  Things have a way of working out.  We’ll see.

Anyway, if I don’t work Saturday, I’m going to take care of errands.  I heard about the festival in Sendai from students, but…eh, I’d rather choose my own destiny and I feel like staying in Natori this weekend, especially since I’ll have to head into Sendai next Saturday to try and meet an eye doctor.  We’ll see how that goes.  Bit tired, but a belly full of yakiniku is keeping me pretty chill.  Going to bed now and seeing what tomorrow holds.  Hopefully, good things.

June 10, 2017

Mostly just consolidation this weekend.  I got a basket for the back of my bike to help with groceries, got more air in my tires, and got a pizza at the awesome place I’ve spoken of before.  On the way home, I picked up some more American soda and other snacky stuffs, which I fear will be my undoing, but it was at least easier to carry with the new basket on my bike.  I also finished Horizon Zero Dawn which, I love it, but it’s also a very heavy game, so glad that’s done.  No Rakuen yet, but tomorrow I’ll dive back into it.  Tonight, I talked with an old friend of mine from my days teaching in China and she’s just lovely.

I got a chance to see a bit of Berserk’s new anime and…you know, I love seeing some of my favorite scenes animated…it’s a pity the animation team is garbage.  The CGI is really, REALLY bad lately, which is a shame because it was great for some previous episodes. The cast is good, the story is good, the music is great, but that damned CGI blegh…I also got my writing in today and I think weekends might be the time for it, as I predicted previously. Anyway, gonna start up on Wolfenstein tonight.  Nothing says relaxing times like killing Nazis.

June 11, 2017

Haaaaaaaappy day! I’m sick! Again. Ugh..what is it about Asia that exacerbates my throat problems? Anyway, I’ve felt very weak today, so I got some food and basically spent a lot of time trying to rest.  Sadly, I couldn’t do any writing.  My goal was Rakuen and writing both days.  As it stands, I only managed writing on Saturday and Rakuen on Sunday.  Still an emotional gut punch, but it keeps me pushing through to see the end.  Sadly, I feel really tired and if past experience is any indication, it could be around for a bit.  Maybe a week or so.  We’ll see.  Need to see an eye doctor next week.  Ugh.  When will I get my writing pattern up and running optimally?  Need to rest, so cutting this entry short.  Laters.

June 12, 2017

Oh god…today was so hard.  So very hard.  I felt EVEN WORSE than on Sunday when I woke up. I got a bit of sleep, but I was constantly blowing my nose and worrying that my throat was too dry and I struggled to get a fitful rest.  I am out of food, so I headed out for lunch but most stores don’t open till 11.  I was lucky and knew a few that opened by 10, but they weren’t my first choices is my point.  I had a pesto pizza and some cheese fries.  Not bad, but not good either.  I have had so many carbs today.  I feel tired and full and I skipped dinner because I was just not hungry.  I got a mask since I was sniffly and coughy today, but it made class hard, as I needed to keep my glasses off with it on because it fogged up my glasses.  I must’ve gone through like 40 tissues today.  I can’t take the day off, though. I couldn’t today and I can’t tomorrow.  The other teachers asked me if I was going to, but I’ve survived worse than this in China, so…I can’t really.  I can’t let them down.  If I can move, I can teach. I don’t want to put that last minute stress of shuffling classes and calling in reserves on my co-workers just because of my own selfishness.  It’s a problem if I really DO need it, but…so far, I’ve always managed.  And, I imagine I always will.

I was lucky one of the teachers helped me get some vitamin c drops, which reminded me of my family’s remedy, which was to have a lot of those available to ride out the sickness.  I bought a lot of vitamin c stuff, including a ginger fever medicine, which did help a bit in clearing out my sinuses, but it started to wane near the end of my night, and tons of vitamin c drops.  It’ll help, I know it will.  I don’t know what caused this, but it makes hard, stressful days harder.  Most of my classes were fine, but there’s always, or usually, one or two where you have a good plan and execute it as best you can, but the students just aren’t with you.  Either in interest or in understanding.  I did the best I could, but I was dead on my feet for a lot of the day.  And I have to go back tomorrow since it was just the start of the week.  Haaaaaaappy day.  No games tonight.  Just resting.  I may skip editing until I get my second wind. I hate that my writing and my job suffer for these unexplainable sicknesses.

June 13, 2017

God…just…ugh…another sick day.  I bought more medicine and stocked up on vitamin C drops which, while helping my throat, erode my teeth something fierce.  I was mostly in my mask teaching today as well, which meant no glasses.  I had only one class I’d really consider bad and it was confirmed to me by others that…yeah, they just had a bad attitude.  Which is good, because I’m pretty weak right now, physically and confidence wise.  The sickness drains that away and I’m in survival mode.  Was feeling pretty low for most of the day and having more of those, should I be fired or will my contract be renewed, moments.  They’re pointless and don’t help me with the task at hand.  I have to stay focused on what I know.  Before me lies my promise to work.  These are my obligations and responsibilities.  I have no time to take a rest, I must power on.  I have a duty to perform and I shall perform it. 

I got through the day, but not sure how much longer the sickness will last.  I bought some frozen stuff from the 711 since I’m not sure when I’ll feel up for grocery shopping again.  This week is just kicking the crap out of me.  If I have the energy, I need to do house cleaning.  Once a month probably isn’t often enough, but it is that time and I do want to change sheets and air out my futons, so fingers crossed it all works out.  I also need to go to bed now.  Been going to bed very early and playing no games for the last few nights.  Not sure if it helps or not, but…there you are.  Thank god I took my special orange blanket with me.  It’s been a great comfort in these trying times.  To China and back, now it’s joined me in Japan. Also, ugh…so much money on medicine and preventative measures.  Not off to an auspicious start financially.  Anyway, bed now…