June: June 23 - June 28, 2017

June 23, 2017

Bleh.  The heat is getting to me.  Once classes start, it’s not so bad, I have AC or fans or manic energy to carry me, but I’m easily overheated and the school gets just a smidge too hot for me, even now when it’s not the hottest it will be.  Still trying my best to adapt and deal to this style of teaching.  For the most part, I’ve got it down.  I consider myself a middling teacher, perhaps a harsh criticism of myself more than truth, but…I am just more comfortable with adults, as the interest and control is generally there.  That said, you can have a lot of fun just joking around with and laughing at yourself along with the kids.  An entire class worked together to try and block my entry into class and I nearly pushed through five people holding the door shut.  Once they saw that, when I backed off to get better footing, they opened the door.  We all had a good laugh about it.

I was given a melon today and it was very good, very sweet.  I appreciate gifts like that and have had small trinkets like a paper crane or a silly fan gifted to me by students and others looking either for a funny joke or some small appreciation.  Because I am a sentimental shmuck I ate half of it and gave the rest to the Yakiniku bar.  The master was having friends over and still served me, so I offered him and his friends the half of the melon I didn’t eat.  Not sure if they liked it, but they at least showed appreciation, which was nice.  It was really sweet and delicious.

Finally, I started playing Resident Evil 4 again because I bought a Japanese copy way back when I first got here and since I’ve got at least a week or two before my new games arrive, I figured…what the hell, I’ll play something fun.  I could go back to Gwent, but ugh…I hate some derogatory remarks here, but I know I’ll go back to it.  It’s a fine game, but I am frankly too frustrated with it to play right now…maybe later.  The truth is that real people suck online. I also want to say that the HD port of RE4 has basically made all the textures stupidly obviously low res, so while the characters look decent, the rest of the game looks like ass.  That said, still a blast to play and a damn fun game, in spite of a poor port job.  Anyway, speaking with my family and heading out for a bike ride tomorrow.  Looking forward to it.

June 24 – June 25, 2017

Life’s funny, isn’t it?  I’ve known since I was young who I was.  Melodramatic, dark, but heart of gold underneath it all.  The only thing I’ve wanted to do was help others…and I think that’s one reason I write.  I like telling stories.  Stories help you in ways you yourself don’t realize.  That’s why I want to be a writer.  Heh, I just wish the ambition I’d chosen was easier or that at least it was easier to do with more regularity.

I talked with a lot of people this weekend, so my mind’s kind of…in the future and in dreams.  I spoke with my parents, my best friend in the US, and a dear dear friend in Australia.  You know, when I was younger, I thought it would be fun to actually be the villain…when I came to terms with what it meant to be a real villain, not a camp bad guy…it horrified me.  And when I was talking with those close to me, I find myself wanting to help.  I…have a bad habit of lecturing others or of trying to give speeches though so…hehe.

Anyway, that out of the way, this weekend I took some photos for my blog of the rice paddies growing, I biked into the mountains and saw a cool school built into the hills, I had a bath at the bath house and got to eat good food all the time.  I got some foreign groceries I think I’ll like, I bought some new video games, and I was able to do some relaxing and write for a bit.  I think this is a typical weekend for me now.  A bit of exploration, a bit of relaxing, and at least 2-3 hours of writing.  It’s nice. 

I don’t know where the future is going to take me, but I take some pride in the way that I’ve become.  I’m always saying my being honest or straight arrow will come back to bite me, but I don’t know any other way to be. I don’t want to be any other way.  I feel a bit jealous of Takeo Gouda though.  I started reading a new series, Ore Monogatari, this weekend about a guy similar to me, but with the muscle to back up his desire to help others, finding a girl who loved him for him.  I have to admit…I’d like that.  It’s been a time of reflection on who I am and what I want to do.  The answer to the first is, I’m a good guy.  The answer to the second is, write.  Now…if only that would pay the bills, hehe.  Well, another weekend down. I’ll end by saying I’ve only fallen in love a few times.  They’ve generally ended in disaster for one reason or another.  Reflecting on it, I think I missed a chance with someone special.  But the important thing is that they’re happy and I’m happy.  And I am pretty happy.  I love this town.  This job, while stressful, is nice and this life is okay. I’m not content to rest just yet though.  I’ve a book to finish and a love to find.  It will happen…I don’t always believe that, but for now…sure, why not?

June 26, 2017

What’s there really to say about today?  I wanted to get some card writing done, but that didn’t happen so…maybe Friday or Wednesday? I also had a hellish Monday.  Monday is usually my relaxing intro to the week, but since the Eiken interviews are coming, I had extra classes along with my student journals to prepare for that.  It’s nothing too bad, I got to flex my interviewing muscle, which I do have, thank you very much.  Either way, I’m a bit tired.  I tried to use the grill function of my microwave and wound up warping one of my bowls.  Not a big deal, since it’s actually larger now, albeit with thinner plastic.  I need a new one, but this soldier has served me well and will probably continue to serve me well.

The school week always exhausts me, but I have new games to play, so I’m gonna do that.  Talk to you all later.

June 27, 2017

Back home, my father had a saying.  Some days, you eat the bear.  Some days, the bear eats you.  Today, I got eaten by the bear…well, partially.  I’ve gotten my junior high and high school classes pretty firmly down.  While they don’t always go how I want and maybe they’re not always full of games or what have you, I try but you know, I have them down to where I want them to go for grammar, procedure, and the students learning useful language and skills.  It works.  But with the kids, it’s much less predictable.  Will they be sleepy and uninvolved?  Will they be sugared up beyond belief? Will they be rude and speak poorly of me in ways I cannot understand?  The answer to those questions changes as easily as the tide and today I just got my butt kicked.  Plans were right, material was good, but the classes were either too amped up or barely awake.  Like I said, the older kids were fine.  I still feel I fall a bit into the trap of mediocore, though I’m trying a few new ideas out, but the classes run smoothly.  I also had to stay late today because we have some students who rotate in and out depending on their schedule.  These are adults, so this is work schedule.  This is fine with me, honestly.  Reminded me of my old days at EF where I was able to provide new words, grammar tenses, and tips to help with listening exercises, and help they did.

Anyway, enough belly aching over the frustration.  I’m getting a little better at paying no mind to others, as the comparisons I make with them often are to my detriment.  We teach in different ways and while I may not be better, I’m not that bad.  That’s something you need to tell you.  You have experience.  You have knowledge.  You want to help.  Even if you’re not wacky inflatable arm flailing tube man, you can still be a good human being and get the lessons done to try and help out the students.  I’m definitely still worried, but it’s getting better.

I got to talk with one of my old students from China for a bit today.  I sent out a few emails to try and reconnect and I’ve gotten some bites, which is nice.  I also got a letter from a friend stateside. No matter how small, news from home is nice.  News you can hold, even if you could have been told online.  It’s something real, I guess.

School life is still stressful…probably always will be as this job is harder in some ways than my previous ones.  Still like this town though. I also got asked to help one of the part time teachers with some English listening and culture.  Gonna need to make new material for that. We’ll see how it goes.

June 28, 2017

Not much to say today. As crummy as I felt yesterday is how good I feel now.  My classes all went really well, some due to my planning, some due to my students being motivated, though I did have to bring the hammer down on one student who would not listen at all.  Either way, it was a pretty good time.  Don’t get me wrong, still stressful, but it’s nice to have a few good days.  On the flipside, I did get told I might be roped into teaching a few extra classes Saturday because of a company event but…whatever.  No real point in complaining because 1, it wouldn’t do any good and 2, I’d do it anyway, because I’m that kind of guy.

Just really tired because of the workload so far.  Between the extra Eiken classes, the student journals, and the regular stress, I feel wiped, but I also put together a few new listening exercises for one of the part time teachers who is my friend because he and some other students are heading to Chicago in a month.  They want to know about some culture and to get some practice with harder language.  Hopefully, my exercises deliver. Now, tired, so going to bed.

Bonus update: The Rice Paddies

Generally, like twice a month, I tend to go for a bike ride in the rice paddies, to see nature and witness their growth.  I've got a bit of staggered rice paddy growth here, as well as some other small moments of me living in Natori.  Take a look.

This was taken roughly one month ago.  I'll show you when it has changed

Ditto, one month ago.

I rode into the mountains to see what I could and there's not much.  Some soccer fields and abandoned buildings and this bridge.

Lots of beautiful trees though.

Lots of trees...

I'm a sucker for bridges and expansive views.

This was two weeks ago.  Already, you can see that the green is starting to fill in.

This is me at the shrine.  See, I am alive and in Japan.

And I can smile, though I hate selfies.

This was taken two weeks ago, but it was in a rice field in town.  We actually have them honeycombed wherever there is free space, so as to maximize growth potential.

This is my Friday night event.  Yakiniku.  It means grilled meat.  I cook the meat and veggies on a grill right in the restaurant and that is beef and pigs tongue with carrot and onion.  They're seasoned and have a special, delicious dipping sauce.

I haven't bought many trinkets because I am being an adult, but I bought a Vincent Valentine and a cat out of some Gatchapon(slot/random) machines

Post card mania!  I bought a ton of these super cool post cards and almost all of them light up. This is festival time and Yokai. 

Firefly lanterns and romantic scenes on a bridge.

Friendly yokai, dancing, and a summer festival scene.

This was taken today, the day of this posting.  As you can see, it looks like a sea of green.  Further down, you can see, that's not actually true, but oh how a month makes a difference.

And more green.

Here, you can see individual rice plants that are actually separated, but from a distance, it looks like a sea of emerald light.

I got bored and did some exploring.  I found a school that was built into a mountain and really cool...but I think parts of it are abandoned.  I saw some students heading to the main buildings, but...

Lots of greenhouses and buildings next to them, but no one in them...maybe because it's Saturday?  I dunno.

This is the state of my bike right now.  I bought a basket to help carry my stuff.

This is the view from the temple.  The road curves around to more rice fields and I tried it to find it was a nice way back to the main highway.

June: June 14 - June 22

June 14, 2017

Ugh…cleaned my house today.  As nice as a clean house may feel and look, it was a bad idea with me being sick.  Today, I felt like death…even with all the medicine I took and all my precautions, I struggled to get through.  Thankfully, the others were understanding, even a bit worried about me.  But I keep on working.  I have to.  It’s…in my blood, I guess.  I’m reminded of the phrase Stinky used with Sam Vimes in Snuff by Sir Terry Pratchett.  Hang, Mr. Vimes.  Hang high or hang low, but whatever you do, hang on.  Hang on.  So, I keep hanging on.  Hang, just so you know, for goblins is a form of encouragement, kind of like ganbatte for the Japanese.  Anyway, I’ve felt…a bit better, now that classes are over.  During class, I was doing my best to follow my plans and what not, but since I had to wear a sick mask(no one made me, it just seemed wrong to not) I couldn’t wear my glasses, so…at times I felt like I was struggling with anything reading related.  Today was very exhausting over all.

Not at full strength now, but the sniffling is down and while I’ve developed a raspy cough, I…can manage that better than all the nose blowing.  Still, dealt with lots of heat today and headaches.  I wonder what my students thought, as I kind of had to push through with manic energy or risk collapsing.  So, I was a bit manic and doing lots of grandiose gestures and joking along with the teaching.  Hell, maybe they liked it more.  At the end of the day, I made it through and I got home to rest.  That’s the important thing.  I have good medicine and I think it will help cut down on my sickness, so…finger’s crossed. If I’m lucky, I can get editing done either Thursday or Friday alongside just resting from the sickness.  I told some of the staff who asked if I might need a day off that as long as I can walk, I’ll be there for work.  It seems wrong to put the workload on others when we have so few teachers, so…I won’t.  Ever.  If I can help it.  If I can’t walk, well…that’s that, but as long as I can get up and move, I will go teach. 

Hang high.  Hang low.  But whatever you do.  Hang on.  Mr. Polees man.

June 15, 2017

Okay…better, but not perfect.  My snotty nose, fever, and exhaustion are replaced with a raspy cough, exhaustion, and headaches.  It’s a process, but I am getting better.  Right now, I’m carried by my own manic energy and when class stops, I want to hit a wall and collapse.  It’s fortunate that I have considerate co-workers, as they were able to help me get through the day in a number of ways.  Everyone seemed a bit worried that I’d make it, but I walked in to work, so that meant I worked.

The good news ends there, however.  I came home to try and hammer out the last bit of Wolfenstein because killing Nazi’s, however…wow…I have struck out a bit with my intended purchases.  As frustrating as Bloodborne was, I didn’t want to put it down, even when I was getting angry.  Wolfenstein, it was all I could do to not chuck it out a window.  And, it crashed in the final chapter, wiping my progress.  Yeah, I think not.  You made fighting Nazi’s a tedious chore, Wolfenstein.  That takes talent…and so I say, don’t believe the hype.  Play DOOM.  It’s way better.  I’ve got a small backlog of PC games to play, so I’ll probably do that over the next few days and hopefully this weekend, I’ll order some better games to play.

One more day, then I can see the eye doctor and learn how boned I am when it comes to medicine.  Or hopefully, not.

June 16, 2017

Tired and got stuff to do, so short entry.  I’m exhausted.  Had 2 observations today with the parents watching me teach their little ones, so stressed.  Finally recovering from my sickness, so that’s great.  I had yakiniku for dinner, which was also good, and the final episode of Villainous, a short series from Cartoon Network that I like way more than I should was released.  Life’s good, but I need to head into Sendai EARLY tomorrow, so…bed now.  Hopefully, I can see that eye doctor and things will work out.  Anyway.  Later.

June 17, 2017

Still coughing and feeling a bit weak overall, however life’s okay.  I had to get up pretty early to get a train to Sendai and try to find a hospital/clinic I’d never been to with my crummy GPS.  I managed to do it, but so hot, tired, and sweaty.  Weirdly, my healthcare doesn’t like preventative medicine, so it’s a chore to get my acyclovir.  I got a bit, however I may need to just order it online.  I think it’ll be okay and I’ll try it this weekend.  I wanted to actually go to a Mexican restaurant I’d heard of in Sendai, but it opened at 5pm, since it was a bar, so no go.  I spent the rest of my time in Sendai picking up stickers for the school, since they are given out at the end of each class.  We go through a lot of stickers, so I bought…what, 32 sheets?  I don’t know.  Taking the rest of the weekend to recover.  My plan is finishing Rakuen and doing one day’s worth of writing, probably Sunday.  I also need to order more games, since I finished/ got fed up with Wolfenstein.  I have a few on my PC to play, but I want Dark Souls.  So, I need to make that happen. Very tired overall.  I need to make time to get more photos off my phone so I can do some bonus updates. Also, if I’m going to be buying things like medicine and games often, I need to send some money to my account back home.  Probably gonna happen next payday.  Anyway, that’s all for me today, so…till next time.

June 18, 2017

Good god…well, I finally finished Rakuen today.  I got emotionally sucker punched six times in this game.  Even though I knew they were coming after the first one…jeez.  I say that any game which makes you feel is worth playing and that holds true for this one as well.  It’s…quite the experience.  Laura Shigihara’s music is bloody amazing.

Aside from that, I took a day to rest.  No traveling.  No sickness.  Just me and my games and my bed.  It’s been nice.  I also got to start Cosmic Star Heroine, which I kickstarted.  A great game.  Zeboyd games truly are the masters of the modern old school RPG.  It plays like cyberpunk Chrono Trigger with modern quality of life inclusions that help make it feel nostalgic, but also streamlined to perfection.  It’s a good time.

I also ordered some medicine online and we’ll see if it arrives.  Games have been ordered too.  When I finish CSH I want to play either Dragon Quest or Dark Souls…not sure which one, so that’s why I ordered both. Finally, I had a bit of a revelation while getting food.  This town is wonderful, but Hillsborough, my hometown, could also be as good.  Maybe if I had a bike?  I’m not sure.  I feel that the culture gels with me a bit better here, but…maybe a quiet town is a quiet town…and if you try to make it home, it will be home.  Not sure.  It was just a thought I had.

June 19-June 20, 2017

The more things change, the more they stay the same.  Brand new week, but since we’re in a grading period, I have some of my extra time taken up with doing student evaluations.  It was a bit naïve of me to think that there wasn’t some grading and it is at least better than a grade after every class.  These journals are only once every 6 months.  Still, exhausting.

As for things staying the same, more critiques today.  Sadly, when you’re wrong, you’re wrong.  Even if you get critiques in a way you disagree with…when you’re the one who screwed up, there’s literally nothing to be done but admit your mistake and try to move on.  I hate that because I feel I’m the only one in the world who actually adheres to this kind of mentality, but…whatever.  I made a mistake about have gone vs have been which is pretty minor, but still annoying.  It was also delivered poorly, which…yeah, is always fun.  That throws me off.

I’m still having stressful moments where failure is at the forefront of my mind.  I wish I had my therapist here from stateside. I didn’t need his help after gaining perspective stateside, but this situation is a bit different so…it would be nice to hear his opinion on a few things.  I’m tired.  Tuesday is always my hardest day because of…reasons.  Though Wednesday is also up there which is…tomorrow.  Joy.  I do love this city and I enjoy life here, but it is a stressful job nonetheless.

June 21-22, 2017

Not much to report.  The weather is getting hotter and I’m a bit tired.  So tired.  The heat really exhausts me.  Anyway, I got a bit OCD at work today and have been for a bit, lately.  I replaced all the rubber bands that were falling apart on our note cards without being asked and I cleaned cups earlier this week without being asked.  I’ve started using more pictures in my classes, which have gotten a few chuckles out of students, which makes it worthwhile, but at the same time a few seem pretty listless and tired.  Can’t blame them, but it does make the lessons harder.

Bit late with my upload, but I hope to make up for it with pictures this coming weekend.  I have several saved up.

June: June 7 - June 13

June 7, 2017

Been playing Horizon Zero Dawn tonight and I have to say it’s almost comical once you learn the secret behind everything.  I won’t spoil too much, but it’s amazing how corporate short sightedness and human arrogance can lead to the entire extinction of a race.  Fascinating if it weren’t so darkly possible.  Tell me that it won’t happen.  Do it.  Then look at the American political and corporate farce that we call a government.  Then tell me it won’t happen with a straight face.  I’ll wait. I don’t tend to get political here and the reason is that if you define yourself via politics, it kinda…makes it impossible to talk to someone because they refuse to change, it’s part of their identity.  Still…what was it that Schwarzvald said?  Wake up.  Don’t be afraid of knowledge.  Unless you want to sink into oblivion, you must think.  THINK!!!
            Alright, heavy stuff out of the way, let me just say that today was interesting for a few reasons.  Been getting more headaches lately and I’m finally gonna cave and go medicine hunting tomorrow before work.  I want some advil or something.  I also want to stop by the post office if I have time to pick up some amazing cards for friends and family.  Seriously wondrous.

Classes went well today.  I am still in need of catching myself with Japanese, and I was critiqued on it today, but it was far less brutal than before.  I do appreciate that some people in the world do know how to give a fair critique that is helpful but not soul crushing.  Anyway, I hope I’m getting better with a few classes.  The inclusion of new topics to discuss and trying to go away from the mundane should help, but I worry that the topics I use in adult classes may be either too hard to explain or go over the heads of my younger students.  We’ll see.

Wednesdays are always hard for me.  Very little time to rest and lots of time running full tilt, which is kind of what happened today.  Working on some new flash cards to supplement my comparative lessons.  We’ll see how it goes.  See, brain, I didn’t forget.  I will also say that I feel I may move writing exclusively to weekends and editing to the week.  It is just too hard for me to get in the zone, in the right frame of mind, when I have such a time limit on me leading up to classes.  So, I’ll give this new setup a try.  Two days of writing, or one if I’m lazy, and then two days of editing during the week.  Editing takes less time than actually wordsmithing, so it should be manageable.

I also need to bloody make an article for Rakuen when I finish it.  The game deserves it, so I might take a day or two for that next week.  I’m looking forward to the weekend, but aren’t I always?

June 8, 2017

There’s something very sobering about watching a group of people come to terms with the inevitability of death and the total futility of life.  Sobering and depressing.  Horizon Zero Dawn digs deep into the human pathos and it makes me believe with certainty that if we go extinct as a species…we’ll have no one but ourselves to blame.  Sigh.

Anyway, classes today were fine. There’s a bug going around so a few people are worried about the teachers falling sick.  I say that if I didn’t let the throat bug in China, which nearly cost me my voice, drop me or make me take a sick day, pretty much nothing will.  I’m too bloody dedicated and honest.  Either way, I am getting waves of fatigue at times.  It’ll pass when I’m with my students, as you have no time for fatigue, you gotta move, but still…frustrating.  I bought some headache medicine as well, just in case, as I’ve had those going off and on.  I also dropped about 70 bucks on postcards for family.  They’re too awesome and adorable to not.  I might actually set some up this weekend and take photos since they are just that cool. Beyond that, I find that the week really is a struggle at times to get through.  Some days easier, some days harder, but I am looking forward to the weekend and a chance to rest.  I thought about looking into the Sendai festival I’d heard about, but couldn’t find any trace of it online and frankly…I won’t let my life be dictated by others.  If I want pizza, to do bike maintenance, and go to the Yamaya, by god I will.  Also, I called hospitals today to see if I could get prescriptions.  Probably going to need the help of the Japanese teachers to get past the receptionists, but what Japanese I have at my command, I use well, especially when I was making the calls.

June 9, 2017

Ugh, been thinking on Horizon Zero Dawn too much.  I like the game, but I’ll be glad when it’s over.  Funny how a CEO claiming to do the best for everyone just ends up screwing people over in the end, huh, Ted Faro(It’s a game reference, you don’t have to get it.)

I’ve been getting minor headaches and stomachaches lately.  Today, I headed to the bank and got some money out of my account, though I overshot it at first.  I have terrible directional sense. Classes were fine, though when people get sick there is a worry they won’t be able to handle classes.  Since we’re a small organization, if one person has to bow out for a day, the rest of us have to work harder. I may need to work Saturday, but…eh, probably not.  Things have a way of working out.  We’ll see.

Anyway, if I don’t work Saturday, I’m going to take care of errands.  I heard about the festival in Sendai from students, but…eh, I’d rather choose my own destiny and I feel like staying in Natori this weekend, especially since I’ll have to head into Sendai next Saturday to try and meet an eye doctor.  We’ll see how that goes.  Bit tired, but a belly full of yakiniku is keeping me pretty chill.  Going to bed now and seeing what tomorrow holds.  Hopefully, good things.

June 10, 2017

Mostly just consolidation this weekend.  I got a basket for the back of my bike to help with groceries, got more air in my tires, and got a pizza at the awesome place I’ve spoken of before.  On the way home, I picked up some more American soda and other snacky stuffs, which I fear will be my undoing, but it was at least easier to carry with the new basket on my bike.  I also finished Horizon Zero Dawn which, I love it, but it’s also a very heavy game, so glad that’s done.  No Rakuen yet, but tomorrow I’ll dive back into it.  Tonight, I talked with an old friend of mine from my days teaching in China and she’s just lovely.

I got a chance to see a bit of Berserk’s new anime and…you know, I love seeing some of my favorite scenes animated…it’s a pity the animation team is garbage.  The CGI is really, REALLY bad lately, which is a shame because it was great for some previous episodes. The cast is good, the story is good, the music is great, but that damned CGI blegh…I also got my writing in today and I think weekends might be the time for it, as I predicted previously. Anyway, gonna start up on Wolfenstein tonight.  Nothing says relaxing times like killing Nazis.

June 11, 2017

Haaaaaaaappy day! I’m sick! Again. Ugh..what is it about Asia that exacerbates my throat problems? Anyway, I’ve felt very weak today, so I got some food and basically spent a lot of time trying to rest.  Sadly, I couldn’t do any writing.  My goal was Rakuen and writing both days.  As it stands, I only managed writing on Saturday and Rakuen on Sunday.  Still an emotional gut punch, but it keeps me pushing through to see the end.  Sadly, I feel really tired and if past experience is any indication, it could be around for a bit.  Maybe a week or so.  We’ll see.  Need to see an eye doctor next week.  Ugh.  When will I get my writing pattern up and running optimally?  Need to rest, so cutting this entry short.  Laters.

June 12, 2017

Oh god…today was so hard.  So very hard.  I felt EVEN WORSE than on Sunday when I woke up. I got a bit of sleep, but I was constantly blowing my nose and worrying that my throat was too dry and I struggled to get a fitful rest.  I am out of food, so I headed out for lunch but most stores don’t open till 11.  I was lucky and knew a few that opened by 10, but they weren’t my first choices is my point.  I had a pesto pizza and some cheese fries.  Not bad, but not good either.  I have had so many carbs today.  I feel tired and full and I skipped dinner because I was just not hungry.  I got a mask since I was sniffly and coughy today, but it made class hard, as I needed to keep my glasses off with it on because it fogged up my glasses.  I must’ve gone through like 40 tissues today.  I can’t take the day off, though. I couldn’t today and I can’t tomorrow.  The other teachers asked me if I was going to, but I’ve survived worse than this in China, so…I can’t really.  I can’t let them down.  If I can move, I can teach. I don’t want to put that last minute stress of shuffling classes and calling in reserves on my co-workers just because of my own selfishness.  It’s a problem if I really DO need it, but…so far, I’ve always managed.  And, I imagine I always will.

I was lucky one of the teachers helped me get some vitamin c drops, which reminded me of my family’s remedy, which was to have a lot of those available to ride out the sickness.  I bought a lot of vitamin c stuff, including a ginger fever medicine, which did help a bit in clearing out my sinuses, but it started to wane near the end of my night, and tons of vitamin c drops.  It’ll help, I know it will.  I don’t know what caused this, but it makes hard, stressful days harder.  Most of my classes were fine, but there’s always, or usually, one or two where you have a good plan and execute it as best you can, but the students just aren’t with you.  Either in interest or in understanding.  I did the best I could, but I was dead on my feet for a lot of the day.  And I have to go back tomorrow since it was just the start of the week.  Haaaaaaappy day.  No games tonight.  Just resting.  I may skip editing until I get my second wind. I hate that my writing and my job suffer for these unexplainable sicknesses.

June 13, 2017

God…just…ugh…another sick day.  I bought more medicine and stocked up on vitamin C drops which, while helping my throat, erode my teeth something fierce.  I was mostly in my mask teaching today as well, which meant no glasses.  I had only one class I’d really consider bad and it was confirmed to me by others that…yeah, they just had a bad attitude.  Which is good, because I’m pretty weak right now, physically and confidence wise.  The sickness drains that away and I’m in survival mode.  Was feeling pretty low for most of the day and having more of those, should I be fired or will my contract be renewed, moments.  They’re pointless and don’t help me with the task at hand.  I have to stay focused on what I know.  Before me lies my promise to work.  These are my obligations and responsibilities.  I have no time to take a rest, I must power on.  I have a duty to perform and I shall perform it. 

I got through the day, but not sure how much longer the sickness will last.  I bought some frozen stuff from the 711 since I’m not sure when I’ll feel up for grocery shopping again.  This week is just kicking the crap out of me.  If I have the energy, I need to do house cleaning.  Once a month probably isn’t often enough, but it is that time and I do want to change sheets and air out my futons, so fingers crossed it all works out.  I also need to go to bed now.  Been going to bed very early and playing no games for the last few nights.  Not sure if it helps or not, but…there you are.  Thank god I took my special orange blanket with me.  It’s been a great comfort in these trying times.  To China and back, now it’s joined me in Japan. Also, ugh…so much money on medicine and preventative measures.  Not off to an auspicious start financially.  Anyway, bed now…

June: June 1 - June 6

June, 2017

June 1, 2017

            Today was a bit rough.  I’m needing more self care days than I like.  I really need to get my sleep cycle fixed.  Anyway, I had to go visit my landlord today, which I did with one of the Japanese teachers.  It was nothing major, just telling me what’s what and asking me if there were issues needing fixing. So, I told them, then headed back to work.  It was a bit rough, as I had to do this landlord business on my work time, so…yeah, I had less time for planning and cleaning(we alternate days cleaning the school.) Classes were mostly fine and because a few students cancelled last minute I did get a little time back for planning and consolidating my ideas, which was nice.  I continue to love the adult classes, as they are driven and full of silliness at times.  They all got a kick out of me loving Hokuto no Ken/ Fist of the North Star, which is awesome sauce.  Never saying that again…wow…anyway, I think I’m making a good friend, as we’re planning mahjong and yakiniku times.  We’ll see.

            Today, one of my students gave out some chocolate in class and it was bloody amazing, like a cookies and cream style candy in different flavors and…wow…unfortunately, you can only get it in Hokkaido.  Looking forward to yakiniku on the weekend, but a rainy day does make me worry about whether or not I’ll be able to travel.  Also, I found a nearby pizza place and I am hoping to try it on the weekend.  Really love Bloodborne, but I really want to be done with it, as…yeah, it’s frustrating and difficult. Life here is still stressful and a bit hard, but I enjoy it.

June 2, 2017

Not much to report.  My crappy sleeping habits are making it hard to write, as I don’t have the motivation during the regular week.  Hoping to get something done on the weekend.  Sooner I finish Bloodborne, the better…that bloody game is frustrating, even if it is good and it’s keeping me up late.  Anyway, today was fine.  Some good lessons, some just okay lessons, and after it all, I got yakiniku.  Not sure what to do this weekend. I’m debating a bike trip of an hour or two towards the beach or mountains…but I dunno.  I’ve been low on sleep lately and maybe this is my chance to get some back.  Will keep you all updated.

June 3, 2017

Good and bad, let’s do this!  So, I talked with my family and my best friend today and that was great.  I went into the mountains briefly, I have a small temple and graveyard where I like to just sit and think for a bit, you’ve seen the pictures, that I love visiting, and I headed over to the bathhouse.  The tranquility I get when in this place and just soaking is nice.  It turns out the pots I saw last time aren’t full of boiling water, but unlike 90% of bathes in the world, you can be completely covered by water in them, which I tried, and it was awesome.  I had a good time.

Now, for the bad news.  Bloodborne…you know how I said I liked it?  Well, in concept I do.  In execution, “WHY THE HELL IS THIS BOSS SO FAST! IT HAS LIKE A BILLION HP!  IT KILLS ME IN TWO HITS FLAT!  I JUST WASTED 2 HOURS FARMING HEALTH POTIONS AND COULDN’T KILL THIS F***ING THING!!!!”  Sigh.  I did beat the game.  All bosses, all items, but it damn near drove me to madness.  Good news is that now it’s over, I can shelve it and start getting back to a regular sleep schedule…I hope.  Christ…I spent 8 hours of my waking life trying to beat this thing today.  Not worth it, in hindsight.  Anyway, I’m going to try some pizza at a new place tomorrow and maybe Overwatch with friends.  We’ll see.  They might just be on the PTR and leave me out in the cold…if so, hell, I’ll just sleep later. See you.

June 4, 2017

As per standard, I took my Sunday as a rest day from my gallavanting. Have to say…the pizza place was a bit disappointing.  Not nearly as good as the pizza I’d get from the other place.  Might not go back.  We’ll see.  Anyway, got a bit more rest since no one was playing Overwatch and I played Rakuen, from a favorite composer of mine, Laura Shigihara.  While it may look light and whimsical, it deals with some heavy issues and for someone with the knowledge I have on Japanese linguistics(as some of it is based on Japanese culture,) it’s got a pretty heavy, but subtle message on race with roots in Asia.  The thing is, Shigihara is an amazing composer, but since her music is as heartwarming and emotional as Nobuo Uematsu’s…it’s an emotional gut punch when you play a lot of her games.  That said, I had fun with it, much more relaxing than Bloodborne, but I might save it for weekends, since emotional gut punches during a school work week can be…less than helpful. Most of tonight has just been me lounging about.  It’s nice to get some of my sanity back and to get some rest.  New work week starts tomorrow.

June 5, 2017

Some good classes, some difficult classes, what else is new?  I feel that I’ll always have some issues with my insecurity as a teacher.  When I’m one on one, I feel I can do a stellar job, but that’s because you can hold the interest of one person alone and focus on their learning rather than balancing between 2-6 people.  Either way, I also need to get some better examples.  I feel I’ve asked people about their day or weekend or clubs a lot and yes, this is a part of conversation, it’s one you will be using if you do a home stay or if you meet with a business partner, small talk, basic conversation, but you need to evolve and do more.  Or at least, I do.  I’m giving it thought right now, but it will take time to implement.  I feel that perhaps the material I have and the way I present it is less of the problem as to the applications of said language.  Slowly, it is getting better, with more drill material being used by me and understood as to how it can be used to different effect, but…it is a slow grind to improve.  I have some pride in how I’m advancing with phonics, for example, but today I also had problem with making someone understand a variation of present perfect.  Planning is now much easier as the Japanese teachers and I are working together to find a balance of material for writing and speaking which means that I have less worry of teaching them something they already know, which has been a concern of mine for the higher level students.  Mondays are my easy days because I have enough time to get a bento lunch and plan, though a change to the schedule kinda pushed it for me.  I do want to say that as a teacher, sometimes to keep people happy, you need to roll with the punches.  I gave up my teacher’s chair for one class and basically treated the girls taking it as the teacher for the class, asking them what’s next for example before suggesting we should study months or days and they agreed.  It was funny for all involved, which always feels nice.  This seems to be the story of my school days.  Some good, some bad, some difficult, some fun.  Classes in all shapes and varieties.  Now, if I can just relax.  I am starting to build confidence that I will make it through the year, however old fears die hard.  I have other options if I want to work in Asia.  Japan really is my home, but a friend of mine was just re-hired to work in China and…well, if I could go to her center, life would be bearable there.  But bearable compared to awesome is…a step down.  And Natori is awesome.

Anyway, enough about school. It's cooler now for some reason.  Not sure how long that will last, but whatever.  I’m slowly getting into a better sleep cycle, but it’s…baby steps.  This week I need to go to the bank and I also need to see if I can handle writing before work.  Maybe not, maybe that’s a weekend dealie and editing should be during the week.  Not sure.  I do want to write more than once a week, but…difficult to balance. I also have a craving for certain foods now.  Mostly burgers and Mexican, which I can’t seem to find anywhere, however…the food here isn’t bad, but good lord, I have had enough noodles to last a lifetime.  Good noodles, mind you, but wow…

Just had a good idea.  Writing it here in case I forget it.  We love our flash cards at my school, but we don’t have a comparative set.  I figure, why not make a few that have the base adjective on one side and then the comparative equivalent of more on the other, using it for both er/more and also for est/most.  Could be kinda good.  We’ll see.  Same thing could be done for present perfect, actually.  Need to get on this.  Anyway, sleep for now, but hopefully I can remember to do this now that I’ve put it to writing.

June 6, 2017

Well, today was a reminder that even if you do everything right, some classes are just determined to not have fun.  I don’t mean that to be mean or anything it’s just some people’s attitudes aren’t in it.  That’s not to say I didn’t make mistakes today.  I still need to watch my Japanese in class, since it is such a handy short cut and my handwriting is improving a bit, but…only just a bit.  Anyway, it is nice seeing some of your plans and planning come together to make a class good.  On the flipside, it’s frustrating to feel like you’re boring.  I felt that way twice today.  One class, I could tell it was them, not me.  The other…not so sure.  Going to talk with my peers about topics okay for a class because I’ve had a lot of luck with my adult lessons, so if I can take a few topics from those and adequately adapt them, it might make the classes as a whole better.

Anyway, I don’t want to just come here and type about classes all day.  I think there’s a festival in Sendai this weekend, but not sure.  Will need to look into that. If I do, it means I need to make another run to the Yamaya for some of my Dr. Pepper during the week instead of on the weekend, which was my original plan.  Will be thinking on it.  Been hungrier than normal, lately, even though I’m eating a decent amount.  Not sure what to make of that.  Life is quieting a bit, but I will probably always worried or a bit on edge during the work week.