Reflections: A world of Social Etiquette and feudal empires

Well, it's that time again.  This is my second to last post on the subject of Japan and I hope I can do justice to the topic.  The topic being culture.  I' m reminded of a phrase used by an internet critic on that subject, describing Japan as a complex tapestry of social etiquette and feudal empires.  And recently, at my birthday, I had a chance to reflect back on the different aspects of Japan's culture for my family and friends.

First, it's important to understand a little about Shinto for some of the social rules to make sense.  It is more of a cultural phenomenon than an established religion, as it permeates every part of Japanese culture.  Within it are certain guidelines.  For example, blood is an impure substance and the color red is likewise impure.  However, white, salt, sake, and rice are all considered pure.  This is probably why most rice in Japan is eaten white.  It is meant to be a customary show of purity.  While this might seem like a silly idea, much of Japanese culture is determined by such Shinto ideals.  Cars, houses, and people have times in their lives where they seek purification.  On auspicious days, people are more prone to dress in white, as it suggests purity and a freedom from evil deeds.  And other such practices permeate the landscape.  I do not believe that some Japanese are even aware of the origins of these practices.  They just do them out of habit.  Similar to visiting a temple but not knowing the deity to whom they pray.

Japan is also very highly focused on dignity and the preservation of ones honor.  To that end, people who are hurt or who might seem lost or in need of help are rarely offered help.  This should not be misinterpreted as the Japanese being cruel.  Far from it.  Seldom ever will you meet a more helpful or honest person on the street than a Japanese person.  However, it is social etiquette to not ask people if they need help, as that would embarrass them and ultimately bring shame to them, which is a big deal in Japan.  People who ask for help are given it freely and enthusiastically, but until one asks, it is unlikely they will receive it on their own.  In supermarkets or department stores, for example, no one asks if you need help like they do in America.  They leave you be and if you need guidance, you can ask and people will assist.

Along the same lines of dignity, manners are crucially important to Japanese culture.  Every time one enters a store people welcome you and whenever you leave, they wish you good luck on your way.  People are expected to say when they are leaving and returning and all those in earshot wish them good luck or a welcome return.  The equivalent of a short grace or a thanks given for a meal is present at the start and end of every Japanese meal.  It can be a little daunting for an outsider.  However, to my own frustration at times, Gaijin are not really required to follow these laws of social etiquette.  They are exempt purely because of how they look and act, so the Japanese have already judged them based on that.  While this can be a godsend for someone seeking romance, since between the Japanese, public displays of affection, even one as simple as holding hands, is discouraged, it can be annoying when you want to immerse yourself in the culture.

There are also, of course, the rules that many would define as strange.  In Japan, slurping noodles is polite, as it compliments the cook.  Eating rice with sauces is discouraged, as it fouls the pure white rice.  And of course, the importance of public bathing.  While I never went to an onsen or open bath, to my shame, I know from my readings that these are some of the few places where people can let down their hair and get clean, both physically and spiritually.  In a world of structure, manners, and rigidity, places to just relax are important.  Some companies and organizations encourage employees to bath together so they can get to know the real them.  While not all of these make sense to a western audience, especially given our less rigid and less polite etiquette in the states, they make perfect sense to the Japanese.  That's kind of what matters in subjects like this.

I personally believe that these manners, along with the willingness of the Japanese to adapt to new situations, is what makes them so open to foreigners.  Granted, there are a few people stuck in the past who don't like foreigners in Japan but the polite hospitality of Japan extends to more than just its own people.  However, these manners can also seem restrictive to me.  Many of the rules emphasize a submission to a greater authority, in school, at home, or at work.  Failure to comply with or meet all the demands of the greater authority can lead to more than just personal chastisement, but to ostracizing by those around you.  It can be a scary sight to behold.  While I haven't personally seen someone stoned or run out of a building for such reasons, I have seen people grow colder to those who have challenged their leaders.  This can be especially scary for teenagers entering a rebellious phase.  Even then, however, the manners and etiquette provide at least the appearance of civility...which is something, I suppose.

Really, it's impossible to break down all the nuances of Japanese culture into a single blog post.  Hell, even a series of books wouldn't be enough.  I suppose the take away message is that the Japanese are very polite and hold dear to their manners and standards of social etiquette.  Sometimes they follow traditions, especially around the holidays, that are ironclad, even if they don't understand what they mean.  And often enough, people's personal pride and dignity are put over their well being, to such an extent that even victims of an accident or a death in the family will not receive sympathy unless they openly seek it.  It's not perfect, by any means, but the nature of Japan's culture and the importance of social etiquette make it a place that will be jarring to foreigners, if only because of how welcoming and kind people appear to be.  And they are genuinely kind and welcoming.  But sometimes, one wonders what lies  behind the masks of social etiquette.  Anyway, I don't have nearly enough experience to comment on such things.  I'm just making some broad observations.

Up next will be my final reflection on Japan before I put this blog to rest...at least until my next trip abroad.  I intend to highlight my fondest memories and the best trips.  So look forward to it.