The Condemned Man

Hello again.

I have to say that I'm feeling a bit down as of right now.  Don't get me wrong, I had a fantastic going away party and put many more of my affairs in order but...well, perhaps best to start with the good.

My going away party was very enjoyable.  I updated all my neighbors, family, and close friends on my plans and intentions, told them what I would be studying, where I'd be leaving from, etc.  We all had some nice deserts, though there were leftovers because some of my guests didn't arrive.  While there, my best friend, Monica, gave me some advice relating to travel.  You see, I hadn't planned on taking a checked bag with me, since it would be a lot of trouble and the possibility of me losing things was higher than if I just carried it with me.  But, if I want to bring food as gifts to my new Japanese friends, I have to, as food must be checked.  So, I can at least pack a bit more than I thought, which is a relief.  Thought I'd be taking only the bare minimum for a while.  Also, I can apparently take one carry on as well as my laptop, which is a relief.

Following the going away party, I headed up to the mountains to see my estranged godmother, who's been doing work in Columbia for the last four years and it was a joyous reunion.  Granted, I was sleep deprived as all hell, but when I saw her, it all melted away and I was happy.  She truly is like an angel of grace, lighting up my life.  Together we also shared information of our times abroad and even went on a small hike to the beautiful triple falls.  I'll post pictures in a day or two.

Leaving was hard, but necessary.  I got to meet with my less estranged godfather on the way back home and received lots of encouragement for my trip to Japan, including advice on places to go, how to act, and what to expect, such as Japanese people just minding their own business around a "Gaijin" and some cultural tensions, especially for the nonconformist and for Koreans, as there is some tension between Japanese people and people of Korean descent.  I do hope times have changed for the better since what they told me, as any kind of prejudice is really terrible.

And that brings me to the title of this post.  I feel like a condemned man who's putting his will in order.  I've done everything I need to do, seen my estranged family and had some great times.  Now it feels like I'm about ready to just disappear from the face of the earth.  Who knows what'll happen when I finally step onto that plane on the 26th?  I sure don't.  Now, I don't think I'm going to die or something terrible will happen to me, but the dread of the unknown is a powerful force and right now, I feel like I should run...it feels as if I'm walking towards my own doom.  Which is ironic, considering I've been aware of and preparing for this trip since January.  I know it's probably natural, but it's still unsettling.  Makes me cranky and a bit stressed.

On a less depressing note, I also feel a tinge of exhilaration at the prospect of heading overseas.  I finally got to skype my speaking partner, an interesting young lady who should probably remain anonymous until I get  permission to reveal her name.  It was daytime in Japan, while I skyped her in the dead of night back here.  She was a bit nervous and giggly, but it gave me hope, sine she and I talked in both English and Japanese and she told me that tours of Kyoto and a chance to explore Hirakata city in Osaka, which is where Kansai is and where I will be staying, would be forthcoming.  I'm looking forward to meeting her in person and other interesting people...so, even if I am feeling a bit like a condemned man, it should always be remembered that death is not the end, but merely a new beginning.  When I come back from overseas, I may be a totally different person.  Friends reading this should get ready, hehe.

Until later.