November 11, 2019
Hello, everyone. I don’t
want to dwell too much on the bad. It’s been hard these last few months. Let me
just get out what needs to be gotten out and give a short review. That’s what
this is here for, yeah?
So, I broke up with my
significant other. No more info than that. There’s no hatred in my heart, just
sadness. It was unfortunate, but unavoidable. The one thing I DO want to add.
May you find happiness, wherever life may take you.
Anyway, I’ve had a hard
time with stress as well. The job searching has been going very well, but the
pressure can be crushing. And I haven’t had the support from stateside that I
probably needed. I’ve had a few people chime in, but it’s easy for me to get
lost in the shuffle. I don’t hold any ill will about that. But it has been
hard. I’m going to be trying to get things into a more manageable situation
over the next few weeks. I’ve tried before now, but I think I have a shot at
changing life for the better through a number of things, so we’ll work towards
that. Growing up, I’ve always held true that, when faced with adversity, you
can be crushed by it and in so doing become bitter, angry, and hate filled…or
you can try to rise above. That’s what I do. That’s what I’ve always tried to
do. Because when you hurt others, who gains? No one. Sir Terry Pratchett said through
the goblins in his book Snuff, that to live, you must hang. Hang high. Hang
low. But whatever you do. Hang ON. So, I will.
I’m going to take a break
from social media for a while, so this will probably be my last shared entry
for 2019. I wish I could say my October holiday was great. I did go to a lovely
little Ryokan, which gave me some much needed tranquility, with delicious food,
a great sea view, and a gorgeous Japanese style room. But, it was also a bit
lonely. This was right after the breakup. And after that, it was mostly job
hunting. I’ve done well, but the scheduling, the stress, and the pressure has
been hard at times. Still up in the air about whether I can go to Hokkaido or
not, but I think it’s safe to stay I’ll be in Japan, for at least another year.
Alongside the job hunting
stress, I’ve had video game issues. I know people will roll their eyes, but
imagine. Imagine something you do to relax every day just suddenly up and stops
working. How do you react? I actually was able to put it into words after an
experience recently. Even if you can make it better, even if it’s not all that bad,
you rage and feel great sadness because of the hopelessness and powerlessness
of the situation. When you look back, it’s not so bad, but in the moment, it
can be crushing. What I’m trying to say is my Playstation 4 periodically breaks
and starts working again with no way for me to control it. I spent a good week
trying to repair it, more stress, only for it to work like clock work that
Saturday. Then break again the following week. And work again today. Sigh. It’s
been an up and down experience. I believe that we get better at managing these
stresses and surprises as we endure them, so I’m doing fine now, but it was not
something I needed after losing so much already.
Work is going well, however.
We had a very fun season. Though it was exhausting, the students loved
Halloween and seeing them smile and enjoy the treats and games we laid out for
them gave me life. Unfortunately, right after that, eiken interviews started
up. Haha, the two sides of leisure and study, back to back. It’s a bit ironic,
no? Still, I love my students and I’ve been blessed to be able to teach them.
I think I’ve had like…five
or six job interviews up to this point? So, yeah, I’m doing well in that
regard. I do have some solid offers, but I’m probably going to slow down a bit
and focus more on Hokkaido, since I have enough offers on Honshu already. It’s
not exactly fun, since my Mondays are now booked solid till the end of
November, but I make do.
Life changing things. I’m
still trying to fix my sleep schedule. That is…going to be a process. It will
continue to be an issue, I feel, just because of all the stress, but I am
trying. Nutrition. I think I’ve done well with eating good stuff here in Japan,
but I’ve cut my soda intake by about half and replaced it with a less caloric
and healthier tea alternative. It’s been nice. I am still snacking more than I
want, but that brings me to: Exercise. So, one of the biggest hurdles to any
kind of major change, in my opinion, is accessibility. You can say, “Just go to
the gym,” till you’re blue in the face, but if people can’t find the time, or
can’t bear to leave home(it is getting cold outside) or are embarrassed or
whatever, it won’t happen. So, Nintendo released a game called Ring Fit, which
uses a resistance ring and leg straps to track movement in a work out that is
tailored to be like a JRPG. You can do it at your own pace, in your own home,
with no judgement, and tailor it to your time and needs. How could I resist? I’ve
decided to try it for the month of November and see how it does with me. So
far, I’ve been good about doing it every day but Saturday, which I can’t
because of schedules. And though I’m dead tired a lot, I do feel healthier,
working up a sweat when I wake up. It’s…I hesitate to call it nice, so I’ll
say, satisfying. Writing. As I am writing this, I am taking a bit of a cheat
day. So, I’ve worked up my writing and editing to two days a week, my weekend
days. Not perfect, but an improvement after the long doldrums I’ve had. Because
of the length of this, I am going to count this entry as my writing for Monday,
but still, point stands. I am back on track to try and finish my book.
Despite all the stress, I
have found lots of things to enjoy in life. There is a wonderful chicken snack
here called Karage-kun which has always wowed me with its flavors, but the
latest, miso onion cream soup, is pure magic in my mouth. I received a generous
gift of garlic cream cheese and orange cream cheese and it has been wonderful.
Hazbin hotel was finally released, and while it’s not for kids(no really, don’t
show this to your kids) it was a fun romp that I thoroughly enjoyed. Games have
been fun as well. Monster hunter, Zelda, Luigi’s mansion, Ring Fit, and many
more have kept me going, though I have been more tired of late. And the Moomins
remain very fun. I just wish I had more people to share it with. It was nice to
go on a team building with my school on Saturday, but I regret being so tired
from working that I was probably a bit quiet. Still, all good things.
I don’t think “I want to
be alone,” is the right thing to say, but social media isn’t the place I feel I
need to be now. There’s not enough outreach, so to speak. So, this is goodbye
for a while. I’m going to take care of me. If anyone does need me, however, you
know where to find me. Most of you have my email, after all. Adieu.
